Feed Editor (Unlicensed) 12 Dec 2006 04:37:20 GMT Ever wonder what two Lesbians talk about when they get together? Well...wonder no more. The 2 Homos podcast is the show with two Lesbians sitting around talking about whatever crosses our minds. We're not always politically correct, and no topic is off limits. Come spend some time and get intimate with us. We're open-minded, we speak our minds...and sometimes, for better or worse, there's no "edit" button. http://www.2homos.com Creative Commons 2006 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Podcast, Comedy, Gay, Lesbian, LGBT, Dyke, Queer, Lesbian+podcast en 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) 2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast Ever wonder what two Lesbians talk about when they get together? Well...wonder no more. The 2 Homos podcast is the show with two Lesbians sitting around talking about whatever crosses our minds. We're not always politically correct, and no topic is off limits. Come spend some time and get intimate with us. We're open-minded, we speak our minds...and sometimes, for better or worse, there's no "edit" button. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Lesbian, Podcast, Gay, Queer, Transgender, Queen, Dyke, Lezzie, Homo, Homosexual, LGBT Yes 2 Homos 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) http://www.2homos.com/graphics/2homoslogo2.jpg http://www.2homos.com/graphics/2homoslogo2.jpg Next time you think about getting up out of your airline seat to check your luggage before the plane comes to a complete stop, you may want to reconsider. You never know when the gentle, smiling flight attendant will decide it's time to go out in a ball of flames after 28 years by calling you a nasty name over the PA system, grabbing a couple of beers and hurling himself out of the plane on the emergency slide. Sat, 28 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-08-28.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, lesbian internet, lesbian radio, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 50370f79-b108-4441-a76c-52a65f8ffe12 362 Free Steven Slater Next time you think about getting up out of your airline seat to check your luggage before the plane comes to a complete stop, you may want to reconsider. You never know when the gentle, smiling flight attendant will decide it's time to go out in a ball of flames after 28 years by calling you a nasty name over the PA system, grabbing a couple of beers and hurling himself out of the plane on the emergency slide. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:02 yes How surprised were you the first time you had sex with your wife when you found out she wasn't really a virgin after all? Now you can relive that special moment with your one and only with the replacement hymen operation. If that seems like too much trouble to go through, then you can simply order a hymen replacement kit online. Capsule of fake blood included with every order. Wed, 25 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-08-25.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, lesbian internet, lesbian radio, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast b467b075-6250-4f54-8f64-40585ac63018 361 Party Favors How surprised were you the first time you had sex with your wife when you found out she wasn't really a virgin after all? Now you can relive that special moment with your one and only with the replacement hymen operation. If that seems like too much trouble to go through, then you can simply order a hymen replacement kit online. Capsule of fake blood included with every order. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 11:35 yes So rare is the partner that will take it upon herself to go back to the store she hates more than anyplace else on earth to return an item to get a replacement while you sit out in the parking lot rocking out to the car radio watching all the young hotties walk by with their tramp stamps and moose knuckles hanging out. Instead of bringing it up on a podcast, you might be better served to simply keep your mouth shut and just say "thank you". Sun, 22 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-08-22.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, lesbian internet, lesbian radio, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast e386cd85-4c96-4a76-b7ad-b402d0a2871f 360 Moose Knuckle(c) So rare is the partner that will take it upon herself to go back to the store she hates more than anyplace else on earth to return an item to get a replacement while you sit out in the parking lot rocking out to the car radio watching all the young hotties walk by with their tramp stamps and moose knuckles hanging out. Instead of bringing it up on a podcast, you might be better served to simply keep your mouth shut and just say "thank you". 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 19:12 yes There's nothing wrong with wanting to do a good deed by helping out animals without a home. You can visit your local shelter and adopt all kinds of needy pets. It only becomes a problem when you think you have only a few pets numbering around 150, but it really turns out that you have over 250 feral beasts running around your home crapping on the carpet. Wed, 18 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-08-18.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, lesbian internet, lesbian radio, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 51a43acf-5c5e-4daa-82cc-9141551f00f0 359 501(c) There's nothing wrong with wanting to do a good deed by helping out animals without a home. You can visit your local shelter and adopt all kinds of needy pets. It only becomes a problem when you think you have only a few pets numbering around 150, but it really turns out that you have over 250 feral beasts running around your home crapping on the carpet. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:07 yes One thing is the absolute truth. Lesbians like to be comfortable. That's why our favorite summer outfit consists of cargo shorts, a t-shirt and some nice comfortable Lesbian sandals. The only puzzling thing is why straight men enjoy wearing the exact same outfit. It's really hard to say who thought of it first and who is just copying the other. Sun, 15 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-08-15.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, lesbian internet, lesbian radio, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 6da29ecc-7f29-438b-8b24-699329254db8 358 Goat Feet One thing is the absolute truth. Lesbians like to be comfortable. That's why our favorite summer outfit consists of cargo shorts, a t-shirt and some nice comfortable Lesbian sandals. The only puzzling thing is why straight men enjoy wearing the exact same outfit. It's really hard to say who thought of it first and who is just copying the other. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 9:50 yes Now that we're older we look at young Lesbians clandestinely holding hands at the theater trying to steal a sweet moment in a crowded area, hoping that their friends don't see that they're really having sex together every instant they can steal away. Instead of being supportive and respectful, all we can do is stare and forget that we did exactly the same things when we were younger...and thought nobody was watching. Tue, 10 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-08-10.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, lesbian internet, lesbian radio, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast d22ab357-966e-4f3e-aa9c-debfb3adf60a 357 Priceless Now that we're older we look at young Lesbians clandestinely holding hands at the theater trying to steal a sweet moment in a crowded area, hoping that their friends don't see that they're really having sex together every instant they can steal away. Instead of being supportive and respectful, all we can do is stare and forget that we did exactly the same things when we were younger...and thought nobody was watching. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 10:43 yes It was an amazing day in Gay history as the proposition to ban Gay marriage in California was deemed unconstitutional by a US chief district judge. Although that's great news, it doesn't mean that it's time to trade in your U-Haul for a wedding ceremony. Just because she touches you down there in a way you've never felt before...it doesn't mean you've just found your soulmate. Trust us... Thu, 5 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-08-05.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, lesbian internet, lesbian radio, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 1b194a34-fd29-4d6b-bd93-2db86a686d0d 356 From H8 to GR8 It was an amazing day in Gay history as the proposition to ban Gay marriage in California was deemed unconstitutional by a US chief district judge. Although that's great news, it doesn't mean that it's time to trade in your U-Haul for a wedding ceremony. Just because she touches you down there in a way you've never felt before...it doesn't mean you've just found your soulmate. Trust us... 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:27 yes It's been said that some of the most successful entrepreneurs started their businesses in times of a recession. All it takes is some out of the box thinking. If we can have Harry Potter jelly beans that sometimes taste like vomit, why can't we have a "scratch and sniff" vagina candy that most of the time tastes delicious, but then every once in a while you get the one that tastes like vaginosis? Why not? Wed, 4 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-08-04.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 3c49b19e-3217-4e22-9299-9472edabf86d 355 Out of the Box It's been said that some of the most successful entrepreneurs started their businesses in times of a recession. All it takes is some out of the box thinking. If we can have Harry Potter jelly beans that sometimes taste like vomit, why can't we have a "scratch and sniff" vagina candy that most of the time tastes delicious, but then every once in a while you get the one that tastes like vaginosis? Why not? 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:44 yes Before you get into a new relationship, you may want to take a look at the new prospect's track record with breakups. It's not about how many breakups they've had, but more about how they behave during a breakup. You don't want to be the subject of the next Eminem song with all your blubbering voicemail messages crafted into the next hit song making it to the top of the charts on the radio. Sun, 1 Aug 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-08-01.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast e4f31934-dc89-4256-9f9c-56520e704691 354 Five Skulls Before you get into a new relationship, you may want to take a look at the new prospect's track record with breakups. It's not about how many breakups they've had, but more about how they behave during a breakup. You don't want to be the subject of the next Eminem song with all your blubbering voicemail messages crafted into the next hit song making it to the top of the charts on the radio. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 15:19 yes There is absolutely no need to worry about the possibility of marijuana becoming legalized in the United States. Legalization has about as much chance of getting passed as Gay marriage in California. It's not because people aren't supportive. It's just that the people that would support the ballot initiative will forget to actually get out to vote on election day. Wed, 28 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-07-28.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 8051c1ff-4c57-4077-9cfe-dfab8c40c53f 353 Medicated There is absolutely no need to worry about the possibility of marijuana becoming legalized in the United States. Legalization has about as much chance of getting passed as Gay marriage in California. It's not because people aren't supportive. It's just that the people that would support the ballot initiative will forget to actually get out to vote on election day. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 11:25 yes Quitting smoking can be very challenging, and different people have different approaches.  Some people like to go it cold turkey and others try to taper off until they're down to just a few smokes a day before stopping altogether. When it's the three year-old smoking two packs a day, however, just buy him some Nicorette gum and call it a day. Sun, 25 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-07-25.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast a53c45a9-7e87-494f-9e5c-00bd64cab44c 352 Two Packs a Day Quitting smoking can be very challenging, and different people have different approaches.  Some people like to go it cold turkey and others try to taper off until they're down to just a few smokes a day before stopping altogether. When it's the three year-old smoking two packs a day, however, just buy him some Nicorette gum and call it a day. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 10:27 yes The next time you feel like someone needs to die because their car alarm starts going off incessantly all night long, you may want to consider the circumstances. If the real reason they can't get up to turn it off at that exact moment is that they're simply in bed with some hot chick getting laid, then maybe you can have a little more sympathy. After all, would you even want to get up to answer the phone? Tue, 20 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-07-20.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast de1a00f7-1bb3-4de7-b1bc-e09d674a565e 351 Alarmed The next time you feel like someone needs to die because their car alarm starts going off incessantly all night long, you may want to consider the circumstances. If the real reason they can't get up to turn it off at that exact moment is that they're simply in bed with some hot chick getting laid, then maybe you can have a little more sympathy. After all, would you even want to get up to answer the phone? 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:15 yes The patient may be on the table, slit open with her guts hanging out...but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's over. We can rebuild her, make her better than before, stronger, faster... Wait a minute, we're not talking about the Bionic Woman here. The computer is on the fritz and we're putting her back together. It's just that it would be so much easier if we could tell her to take a pill and call us in the morning. Sun, 18 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-07-18.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 3fd2d9bc-9753-45b4-8e4f-67d104294685 350 Uh Oh The patient may be on the table, slit open with her guts hanging out...but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's over. We can rebuild her, make her better than before, stronger, faster... Wait a minute, we're not talking about the Bionic Woman here. The computer is on the fritz and we're putting her back together. It's just that it would be so much easier if we could tell her to take a pill and call us in the morning. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 7:22 yes These days you just never really know where evil might be lurking, so you have to be vigilant at all times. Even if you've only stepped out to vote it's important not to let your guard down because the sweet little old lady that showed up to cast her vote that day may decide to fly her freak flag when she finds out that the number of voting booths for Democrats is larger than those for the Republicans. Call for backup. Wed, 7 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-07-07.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast d24187e6-718b-46e9-88b3-e480e8cc9b70 349 Hanging Chad These days you just never really know where evil might be lurking, so you have to be vigilant at all times. Even if you've only stepped out to vote it's important not to let your guard down because the sweet little old lady that showed up to cast her vote that day may decide to fly her freak flag when she finds out that the number of voting booths for Democrats is larger than those for the Republicans. Call for backup. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:28 yes Nicknames are all fun and games until someone gets them all mixed up and calls one girlfriend by the other one's name...all in front of the third one that the first one is having an affair with. If people would just stop naming their daughters who will eventually grow up to be Lesbians by the name of Sue...none of this would be a problem. Then we wouldn't need nicknames such as Finger, Moaner, Lips or Tweaker. Sun, 4 Jul 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-07-04.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 4306aa61-d38c-47cc-8cc6-945dac6bde60 348 Bitcheater Nicknames are all fun and games until someone gets them all mixed up and calls one girlfriend by the other one's name...all in front of the third one that the first one is having an affair with. If people would just stop naming their daughters who will eventually grow up to be Lesbians by the name of Sue...none of this would be a problem. Then we wouldn't need nicknames such as Finger, Moaner, Lips or Tweaker. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:59 yes It's good to have a Cinderella around the house. Not the kind that stays up partying until midnight, loses her shoe and then falls in love with some guy she just met. Instead you want the kind that stays home, cleans the house, scrubs the floor, does the dishes and takes care of all the chores. You want a Cinderella that can be your own personal bitch. Wed, 30 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-06-30.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 1bb67af1-e4f2-4c62-bef1-7f2a364081b7 347 Cinderella It's good to have a Cinderella around the house. Not the kind that stays up partying until midnight, loses her shoe and then falls in love with some guy she just met. Instead you want the kind that stays home, cleans the house, scrubs the floor, does the dishes and takes care of all the chores. You want a Cinderella that can be your own personal bitch. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 11:30 yes It's probably a good idea that Gay people are not allowed to get married and legally adopt in some states. Otherwise, they would be doing outrageous things such as selling their babies on Craig's List, putting their kids up for adoption on E-Bay or worst of all, they might even want to marry their pets. The worst part about it is...then they would be just like straight people. Sun, 27 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-06-27.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast da26b2de-67b3-4901-909d-e29d99e42053 346 Bargain Basement Baby It's probably a good idea that Gay people are not allowed to get married and legally adopt in some states. Otherwise, they would be doing outrageous things such as selling their babies on Craig's List, putting their kids up for adoption on E-Bay or worst of all, they might even want to marry their pets. The worst part about it is...then they would be just like straight people. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 7:03 yes Damn...you thought this show was going to be about something else! Seriously, if big cities would simply install poles that dispense plastic bags the same way they do at some dog parks, then when you're downtown and you have to take a crap...you can just grab a bag and pick it up yourself. Wouldn't that make everything a whole lot nicer? Wed, 23 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-06-23.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 9adfac85-fab0-437b-a906-22ea8a6c5592 345 Going Downtown Damn...you thought this show was going to be about something else! Seriously, if big cities would simply install poles that dispense plastic bags the same way they do at some dog parks, then when you're downtown and you have to take a crap...you can just grab a bag and pick it up yourself. Wouldn't that make everything a whole lot nicer? 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 10:11 yes Sometimes it's hard to know exactly what to do in a difficult situation. You're not sure what the right course of action migh be or how it will affect your future. You stress about it, turn it over and over in your mind and still you can't figure out what would be the right thing to do. So, you think about someone you admire and respect and what they would do in the same situation...and then you do the exact opposite. Sun, 20 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-06-20.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 450fe4b4-b7ca-45f4-aa0b-05701a6ed4ab 344 W.W.R.D. Sometimes it's hard to know exactly what to do in a difficult situation. You're not sure what the right course of action migh be or how it will affect your future. You stress about it, turn it over and over in your mind and still you can't figure out what would be the right thing to do. So, you think about someone you admire and respect and what they would do in the same situation...and then you do the exact opposite. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 14:03 yes Every day is a new Gay. It seems that every time we listen to the news or open a newspaper we hear about a new celebrity coming out of the closet. Some are a complete surprise, some we're happy to have on our side, and others we wind up scratching our head thinking, "what took you so long?" Then there are those that don't even need to bother announcing themselves. Barry Manilow. Sun, 6 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-06-06.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 47ec7f25-3a5b-41c3-afac-341b535b1505 343 Country Gay Every day is a new Gay. It seems that every time we listen to the news or open a newspaper we hear about a new celebrity coming out of the closet. Some are a complete surprise, some we're happy to have on our side, and others we wind up scratching our head thinking, "what took you so long?" Then there are those that don't even need to bother announcing themselves. Barry Manilow. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 15:22 yes The key to true happiness is in finding something that you not only enjoy, but something that you're good at and that you can make a good living doing. If you try hard enough and you really put your mind to it, you'll be able to find that one thing that makes you feel completely fulfilled....even if your true love is trimming bushes into mullets and adding extensions to pubic hair. Wed, 2 Jun 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-06-02.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast a5a972a7-3a2c-42f9-9aa9-8cfbb45aa1b6 342 Bush Mullet The key to true happiness is in finding something that you not only enjoy, but something that you're good at and that you can make a good living doing. If you try hard enough and you really put your mind to it, you'll be able to find that one thing that makes you feel completely fulfilled....even if your true love is trimming bushes into mullets and adding extensions to pubic hair. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 9:23 yes For all those special Lesbians in your life, there's one gift that keeps on giving month after month. It's educational, entertaining and fun. You might even increase your vocabulary with all the fabulous articles you'll read in every issue. The best part about it is that a full year subscription to "Playboy" will cost you less than $20 per year. A veritable bargain. Sun, 30 May 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-05-30.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 6d70814e-133a-4b7a-9bc3-00cba3159cb8 341 Red Blooded American Lesbian For all those special Lesbians in your life, there's one gift that keeps on giving month after month. It's educational, entertaining and fun. You might even increase your vocabulary with all the fabulous articles you'll read in every issue. The best part about it is that a full year subscription to "Playboy" will cost you less than $20 per year. A veritable bargain. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 14:40 yes Dating would be so much easier if everyone would simply pick up a package of "Hello My Name Is..." stickers and add all the attributes their future exes need to know. Would it kill you to just let everyone know up front that you're a stalker, that you're clingy and smothering, that you like sex on the first date, that you have mother issues or crazy exes still in your life? If you give great orgasms...don't forget to add that helpful piece of info, too. Wed, 26 May 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-05-26.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 9b68402d-5e28-4e42-9390-988fdf20cd6e 340 Lifetime U-Haul Loyalty Discount Dating would be so much easier if everyone would simply pick up a package of "Hello My Name Is..." stickers and add all the attributes their future exes need to know. Would it kill you to just let everyone know up front that you're a stalker, that you're clingy and smothering, that you like sex on the first date, that you have mother issues or crazy exes still in your life? If you give great orgasms...don't forget to add that helpful piece of info, too. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 13:01 yes It's Pride season once again and it's time to get out and celebrate. Break out those penis maracas, the electrical tape for your nipples and every bit of rainbow paraphernalia you can find. Take your half-naked ass over to your local Gay Pride event and don't leave until you've gotten your fill of the the Mojito pole dancers, or at least the phone number of your local neighborhood porn star. Sun, 23 May 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-05-23.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast bc2da47b-70ae-44b2-8d65-59a5a874150e 339 Mojito Pride It's Pride season once again and it's time to get out and celebrate. Break out those penis maracas, the electrical tape for your nipples and every bit of rainbow paraphernalia you can find. Take your half-naked ass over to your local Gay Pride event and don't leave until you've gotten your fill of the the Mojito pole dancers, or at least the phone number of your local neighborhood porn star. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 13:33 yes What if it were really true? What if General Naduka really does have $16.1000 billion dollars from your dead relatives in Nigeria that you've never met, but that were killed in a wretched car accident three years ago? What if the good General has been looking for you..the sole living relative...for the past three years? Was that a unicorn that just flew by? Wed, 19 May 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-05-19.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 6cd2fc47-d0cb-4a9f-ae48-9afd9cc5b87d 338 Bye Poor People What if it were really true? What if General Naduka really does have $16.1000 billion dollars from your dead relatives in Nigeria that you've never met, but that were killed in a wretched car accident three years ago? What if the good General has been looking for you..the sole living relative...for the past three years? Was that a unicorn that just flew by? 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 9:51 yes It doesn't matter how hot she is or how much you're in love with her. It doesn't matter if that man she's with is no good for her. That straight girl best friend of yours is off limits! The only thing that can come of it is to have one less friend...and an addiction to "General Hospital" that may last you the rest of your life. Of course, if she touches you first...then it's on. Sun, 16 May 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-05-16.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 8d3fab10-6167-11df-a08a-0800200c9a66 337 Best Friend's Vagina It doesn't matter how hot she is or how much you're in love with her. It doesn't matter if that man she's with is no good for her. That straight girl best friend of yours is off limits! The only thing that can come of it is to have one less friend...and an addiction to "General Hospital" that may last you the rest of your life. Of course, if she touches you first...then it's on. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:27 yes There's a place where 1 out of 10 people are straight, the principal and most of the teachers at the school are Lesbians, and straight people are allowed to get married, but not divorced. The only problem is that every one of the Lesbians is an ex of everyone else's current wife, and all the kids have multiple mommies and step-mommies. It's also the new location for MTV's "Dykesey Shore". Wed, 12 May 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-05-12.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 7cb7f41c-23ea-4e4c-a4fd-c814ab32f5ba 336 New Dykesey There's a place where 1 out of 10 people are straight, the principal and most of the teachers at the school are Lesbians, and straight people are allowed to get married, but not divorced. The only problem is that every one of the Lesbians is an ex of everyone else's current wife, and all the kids have multiple mommies and step-mommies. It's also the new location for MTV's "Dykesey Shore". 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 11:37 yes It's a beautiful feeling to be a free-shitter. Someone that can take a dump no matter where they are. They can be on vacation, at work, at a friend's house or even out shopping. If the urge comes over them there is nothing stopping them from pinching a loaf wherever they are. Until one day when divine retribution finally comes calling...and their world is forever changed... Sun, 9 May 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-05-09.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast ee0394ec-5797-4f2d-9c8a-873bc40f80a3 335 A Little Italian in You It's a beautiful feeling to be a free-shitter. Someone that can take a dump no matter where they are. They can be on vacation, at work, at a friend's house or even out shopping. If the urge comes over them there is nothing stopping them from pinching a loaf wherever they are. Until one day when divine retribution finally comes calling...and their world is forever changed... 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 9:51 yes When someone asks you what ethnicity you are, what they really want is where you and and your relatives are from originally. They don't want to hear that you've had some Italian in you because you slept with some hot Italian chick that put her fingers or tongue inside you. Of course, when you ask your parents that question, you don't want to hear that you're from somewhere other than where they've been telling you for your whole life up until now either. Wed, 5 May 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-05-05.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast e6f1279b-2077-4b99-8764-c8281f5574d0 334 Vegetables Are Your Friend It's a beautiful feeling to be a free-shitter. Someone that can take a dump no matter where they are. They can be on vacation, at work, at a friend's house or even out shopping. If the urge comes over them there is nothing stopping them from pinching a loaf wherever they are. Until one day when divine retribution finally comes calling...and their world is forever changed... 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 8:22 yes There is a certain protocol to taking the red-eye when you fly at night. After going through the obligatory safety speech the flight attendants ask everyone to pull down their window shades and dim the lights so that everyone can sleep. Despite all the relevant clues...there's always bound to be some dimwit that continues to stay up chatting and laughing loudly all night long. You sit there getting more and more annoyed...until you realize that person is with you. Sun, 2 May 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-05-02.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast b06eebc0-5661-11df-9879-0800200c9a66 333 Red Eye There is a certain protocol to taking the red-eye when you fly at night. After going through the obligatory safety speech the flight attendants ask everyone to pull down their window shades and dim the lights so that everyone can sleep. Despite all the relevant clues...there's always bound to be some dimwit that continues to stay up chatting and laughing loudly all night long. You sit there getting more and more annoyed...until you realize that person is with you. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 11:20 yes Just because you like plain vanilla sex, it doesn't mean that everyone is content with the same old thing night after night. Some people might actually get a thrill out of someone squatting over them in the middle of the night ready to take a hot steaming dump right on their chest. Who are you to judge? Sun, 25 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-04-25.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 4a1bc842-b757-4f4c-ac75-00a4a0740cbd 332 Don't Judge Just because you like plain vanilla sex, it doesn't mean that everyone is content with the same old thing night after night. Some people might actually get a thrill out of someone squatting over them in the middle of the night ready to take a hot steaming dump right on their chest. Who are you to judge? 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:06 yes After you've finally admitted that you do have a problem there's another often overlooked step towards getting your life back on track - that's actually wanting to do something about it. What most people don't realize is that cussing is the gateway to other bad behaviors, such as bullying people, tossing high school girls into gym lockers and flipping off old ladies in traffic. Wed, 21 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-04-21.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast ef66c245-fa02-4f46-bb2e-82dcd3921fb7 331 Cuss Free Zone After you've finally admitted that you do have a problem there's another often overlooked step towards getting your life back on track - that's actually wanting to do something about it. What most people don't realize is that cussing is the gateway to other bad behaviors, such as bullying people, tossing high school girls into gym lockers and flipping off old ladies in traffic. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 11:55 yes You're an almost 60-year old lady...unmarried...attractive...wealthy...and you've just kicked your boyfriend out of the house to instead move your soulmate, best friend in...and you're not a Lesbian. Really? Sun, 18 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-04-18.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast b2dabc31-e030-44ed-8dad-7d90624bec5b 330 Tired of Living a Lie You're an almost 60-year old lady...unmarried...attractive...wealthy...and you've just kicked your boyfriend out of the house to instead move your soulmate, best friend in...and you're not a Lesbian. Really? 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 10:18 yes This is not your grandmothers game of Bingo. There are no lucky charms, no magic troll heads or any other OCD rituals in an attempt to make the next ball be the winning one for you. Instead you have campy, biting queens, a gaggle of straight women at a bridal shower and tweaker waiters. The one thing that does remain the same, however, is that when the bill comes to the table, somehow you still wind up $40 short after everyone puts in their money. Wed, 14 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-04-14.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast cec0bdd9-9b72-42de-ae4f-b1d39928879b 329 Shake the Troll Head This is not your grandmothers game of Bingo. There are no lucky charms, no magic troll heads or any other OCD rituals in an attempt to make the next ball be the winning one for you. Instead you have campy, biting queens, a gaggle of straight women at a bridal shower and tweaker waiters. The one thing that does remain the same, however, is that when the bill comes to the table, somehow you still wind up $40 short after everyone puts in their money. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:30 yes When you really want to get some in-depth, accurate information on a subject the best person to consult is an expert. Ideally, you'll find someone that has a degree in the subject, someone that has studied it extensively or even someone that has personal experience in the matter. If for some reason you wanted to know all about penises, the last person you'd want to consult is a Lesbian, much less a Gold Star Lesbian. Sun, 11 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-04-11.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast beac96e0-5b4b-4501-a8c7-9bad72095d63 328 Penisology When you really want to get some in-depth, accurate information on a subject the best person to consult is an expert. Ideally, you'll find someone that has a degree in the subject, someone that has studied it extensively or even someone that has personal experience in the matter. If for some reason you wanted to know all about penises, the last person you'd want to consult is a Lesbian, much less a Gold Star Lesbian. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 11:46 yes Remember when you were young and your mother told you to never talk to strangers? Now that you're older...nothing's changed. That's still good advice to live by. Otherwise, you may find yourself with a 90-year old schizophrenic stalker that programmed her phone number into your cell phone calling you every night at 2:00am crying. Wed, 7 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-04-07.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 07cf5175-ee97-44ac-a1d6-3aad15ba5725 327 Creepy Old Lady Remember when you were young and your mother told you to never talk to strangers? Now that you're older...nothing's changed. That's still good advice to live by. Otherwise, you may find yourself with a 90-year old schizophrenic stalker that programmed her phone number into your cell phone calling you every night at 2:00am crying. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 6:35 yes Dinah Shore weekend can be a life-changing experience. Twenty thousand women descend on Palm Springs for a weekend of partying by the pool, lying naked in sun and cheating on their girlfriend. Others show up to see their favorite golfers in action, but leave realizing they really like naked women with fake breasts instead. Sun, 4 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-04-04.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast b42ac6c6-8a5e-4111-8060-df65641f61f4 326 Dinah Candy Dinah Shore weekend can be a life-changing experience. Twenty thousand women descend on Palm Springs for a weekend of partying by the pool, lying naked in sun and cheating on their girlfriend. Others show up to see their favorite golfers in action, but leave realizing they really like naked women with fake breasts instead. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 13:42 yes Just because you're a big ol' Homo it doesn't mean that you can't have straight friends. Once you open your mind and get to know some straight people you'll realize they're just like us. They drive regular cars, they show up at Weight Watchers and they pick the toe fungus out of their toenails just like everyone else. Sun, 28 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-03-28.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast d7ebdc86-912f-4451-bc61-fb18f0286a03 325 Straight Friends Just because you're a big ol' Homo it doesn't mean that you can't have straight friends. Once you open your mind and get to know some straight people you'll realize they're just like us. They drive regular cars, they show up at Weight Watchers and they pick the toe fungus out of their toenails just like everyone else. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 11:15 yes Older and more mature Lesbians have a lot of experience and knowledge to pass on to today's younger generation of LGBT youth. It's time we reached out to support the younger generations that are just coming out of the closet and are trying to find their way around in a predominantly straight world. Just remember that there are boundaries, and when we say "reach out", we don't necessarily mean that literally...pedophile. Thu, 25 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-03-25.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 7123deed-3760-454a-bdff-636bf1e509a3 324 Lips of Steel Older and more mature Lesbians have a lot of experience and knowledge to pass on to today's younger generation of LGBT youth. It's time we reached out to support the younger generations that are just coming out of the closet and are trying to find their way around in a predominantly straight world. Just remember that there are boundaries, and when we say "reach out", we don't necessarily mean that literally...pedophile. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 10:34 yes Taking a plane anywhere today can be fraught with perils. You may get stuck on the tarmac for sixteen hours, you might get a blanket with head lice in it, you might be sitting on a seat with bedbugs or you might be sitting next to someone that brought a tuna fish sandwich on board. With all that to worry about, at least you don't have to worry about the horror of being served airplane food any longer. Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-03-21.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast e9257bf5-fc73-4c77-b902-b50d751e25e4 323 Jihad Dyke Taking a plane anywhere today can be fraught with perils. You may get stuck on the tarmac for sixteen hours, you might get a blanket with head lice in it, you might be sitting on a seat with bedbugs or you might be sitting next to someone that brought a tuna fish sandwich on board. With all that to worry about, at least you don't have to worry about the horror of being served airplane food any longer. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 10:23 yes It's never too early to give your kids a good education about what it will be like to enter the working world. If you're a 911 operator, an air traffic controller, or a semi-truck driver, there's no better time to get your kid acquainted with what you do every day at work. So, put them right behind the wheel, let them land planes and let them take the next emergency call to deliver a baby. Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-03-17.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 80803390-317e-11df-9aae-0800200c9a66 322 Kids at Work It's never too early to give your kids a good education about what it will be like to enter the working world. If you're a 911 operator, an air traffic controller, or a semi-truck driver, there's no better time to get your kid acquainted with what you do every day at work. So, put them right behind the wheel, let them land planes and let them take the next emergency call to deliver a baby. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 9:49 yes If you've been missing the days of lusting over your Lesbian gym teacher in high school...then it's time to join the gym again! Make sure you sign up for the workout lessons with the hot Lesbian trainer who will make your legs "burn". Hopefully, everyone will get sweaty enough for a post-workout shower. Hot. Sun, 14 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-03-14.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast f72fc6b3-8863-445c-968c-da019f0d1bec 321 Veal If you've been missing the days of lusting over your Lesbian gym teacher in high school...then it's time to join the gym again! Make sure you sign up for the workout lessons with the hot Lesbian trainer who will make your legs "burn". Hopefully, everyone will get sweaty enough for a post-workout shower. Hot. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 14:12 yes With age comes wisdom. When you're young you might think that a woman with two vaginas sounds like a rockin' good time. As you get older, however, you start to think about the down side of having two vaginas. Not only will you have permanent hand cramps and a swollen tongue trying to get her off, but you'll have to spend twice as much on menstrual supplies and you'll have to protect yourself from two bouts of PMS every single month. Wed, 3 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-03-03.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast CY044843F-6815-42F8-66T5-3A985679BE7Q 320 Double Double With age comes wisdom. When you're young you might think that a woman with two vaginas sounds like a rockin' good time. As you get older, however, you start to think about the down side of having two vaginas. Not only will you have permanent hand cramps and a swollen tongue trying to get her off, but you'll have to spend twice as much on menstrual supplies and you'll have to protect yourself from two bouts of PMS every single month. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 11:59 yes Gay Pride season is right around the corner, which means that it's never too early to start thinking about having your own money-making booth that you can travel with to Pride Festivals across the country to earn a little extra cash. To really succeed, however, you'll need something unique that will set you apart from the competition. This year, leave the rainbow bracelets behind and get ready to Vajazzle. Sun, 28 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-02-28.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 8J824653F-6815-42F8-66T5-32A45679BE7E 319 Vajazzle Gay Pride season is right around the corner, which means that it's never too early to start thinking about having your own money-making booth that you can travel with to Pride Festivals across the country to earn a little extra cash. To really succeed, however, you'll need something unique that will set you apart from the competition. This year, leave the rainbow bracelets behind and get ready to Vajazzle. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:24 yes Going on a cruise can be a good time even if you never get off the boat but to get the most out of your trip you'll definitely want to schedule some interesting shore excursions. Just make sure that you buy your from a reputable company so that you don't get ripped off. Otherwise, instead of sledding with the huskies across the frozen tundra, you could be cuddling with a pack of mongrels from the pound with blue contacts in their eyes. Wed, 24 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-02-24.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast A7824653F-1815-49F8-66T5-3C64567DBE7E 318 Miss Alaska Going on a cruise can be a good time even if you never get off the boat but to get the most out of your trip you'll definitely want to schedule some interesting shore excursions. Just make sure that you buy your from a reputable company so that you don't get ripped off. Otherwise, instead of sledding with the huskies across the frozen tundra, you could be cuddling with a pack of mongrels from the pound with blue contacts in their eyes. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 13:47 yes When you go out to the club to go dancing, you definitely don't want to leave home without your Gaydar and a fresh set of batteries. Put that in your left pocket and then put your Stripper-radar in your right pocket. These days it's not enough to be able to pick out the strippers by their heels alone. Sun, 21 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-02-21.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 7F97685F-1815-49F8-86B5-3C62267DBE7E 317 The Evening News These days it take a lot more skill to be a newscaster than just being able to be able to read the stories on the Teleprompter. These days you not only need to pick out your own clothes, but you also need to be able to annunciate properly. You have to make sure that when you're saying "horseshoes" that someone doesn't think you're saying "whore shoes". 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 10:58 yes These days it take a lot more skill to be a newscaster than just being able to be able to read the stories on the Teleprompter. These days you not only need to pick out your own clothes, but you also need to be able to annunciate properly. You have to make sure that when you're saying "horseshoes" that someone doesn't think you're saying "whore shoes". Mon, 15 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-02-15.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 0A97685F-1256-49F8-86B5-3C62084DBE7E 316 Bambi's Birthday When you go out to the club to go dancing, you definitely don't want to leave home without your Gaydar and a fresh set of batteries. Put that in your left pocket and then put your Stripper-radar in your right pocket. These days it's not enough to be able to pick out the strippers by their heels alone. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:16 yes Everyone enjoys some good bathroom reading now and again. Just don't be alarmed if you're sitting down at the crapper and you see that your wife has lovingly placed the latest issue of "Divorce Magazine" on the top of your reading pile. I'm sure she meant nothing by it. Wed, 10 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-02-10.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 4F151D2B-52EE-4F15-B201-CF04D3D827AC 315 Bathroom Reading Everyone enjoys some good bathroom reading now and again. Just don't be alarmed if you're sitting down at the crapper and you see that your wife has lovingly placed the latest issue of "Divorce Magazine" on the top of your reading pile. I'm sure she meant nothing by it. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 10:00 yes Being a good writer takes a lot of creativity, hours of time and a ton of hard work. You have to think about the plot line, character development and all the details that keep readers interested enough to continue turning the pages. It's not a skill that you are born with or that you can learn overnight. Dashing your hopes of becoming famous, however, takes only a single moment of criticism from someone that doesn't even like to read. Sun, 07 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-02-07.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast AE2F47C0-B69E-4FFB-BE1E-1797FBAC50F8 314 The Great Big Book Being a good writer takes a lot of creativity, hours of time and a ton of hard work. You have to think about the plot line, character development and all the details that keep readers interested enough to continue turning the pages. It's not a skill that you are born with or that you can learn overnight. Dashing your hopes of becoming famous, however, takes only a single moment of criticism from someone that doesn't even like to read. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 11:18 yes According to the National Institute of Health, approximately 5% of people will develop a chronic phobia in their lifetime. That number could be understated, however. The NIH may not be taking into account the specific phobias that plague the LGBT community. Simply by counting the one most common affliction, Exophobia - the fear of exes, that number could rise to more than 50%. Wed, 03 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-02-03.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 15CF1ECA-2CED-4AFB-8646-17D9B5573B17 313 Heterophobia According to the National Institute of Health, approximately 5% of people will develop a chronic phobia in their lifetime. That number could be understated, however. The NIH may not be taking into account the specific phobias that plague the LGBT community. Simply by counting the one most common affliction, Exophobia - the fear of exes, that number could rise to more than 50%. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 13:42 yes Lesbians share a deep and rich history that goes way back to the beginning of time. Unfortunately, you won't find too much about the heroines of yesteryear in today's history books. That's why it's important for us as Lesbians to carry on sharing our own oral history so that these larger than life figures of the past will never be forgotten. After all, it's our civic responsibility to make sure we never forget who invented the Mullet. Sun, 31 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-01-31.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast F7961A6A-3764-4FEA-8363-A3BFA5BF883D 312 Lesbian Herstory Tour Lesbians share a deep and rich history that goes way back to the beginning of time. Unfortunately, you won't find too much about the heroines of yesteryear in today's history books. That's why it's important for us as Lesbians to carry on sharing our own oral history so that these larger than life figures of the past will never be forgotten. After all, it's our civic responsibility to make sure we never forget who invented the Mullet. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 13:58 yes Let's stand up and be counted! It's that time of the decade when Roxanne tries to find out which zip code...or country...has the largest number of cute Lesbians. She claims it's not a "dating service", but she sure has a lot of questions about you, your exes and your availability for a new relationship. Print out the survey and send your responses to Roxanne@2Homos.com Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-01-25.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast F6EE5EDF-6F24-44FA-9D8C-64519954696C 311 Lesbian Census Let's stand up and be counted! It's that time of the decade when Roxanne tries to find out which zip code...or country...has the largest number of cute Lesbians. She claims it's not a "dating service", but she sure has a lot of questions about you, your exes and your availability for a new relationship. Print out the survey and send your responses to Roxanne@2Homos.com 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 13:16 yes It's a jungle out there. Before you go out on a hunting expedition for your next future "ex", make sure you take all the necessary precautions. Bring a large rifle, some thigh-high boots and a large bottle of snake repellent. It's always useful to bring a net and a big bag, too, just in case you need to tie up and carry back your prey. Wed, 20 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0800 http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-01-20.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast E8B5F5B8-6046-4AAC-8DCA-8F57D6293441 310 Snake Bite It's a jungle out there. Before you go out on a hunting expedition for your next future "ex", make sure you take all the necessary precautions. Bring a large rifle, some thigh-high boots and a large bottle of snake repellent. It's always useful to bring a net and a big bag, too, just in case you need to tie up and carry back your prey. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 14:27 yes Sometimes it seems that your Gaydar is just not working properly. You encounter Lesbians and nothing happens, you see Gay men and there are no bells...something is just not right. If that's happening to you, it might just mean that it's time to replace the batteries in your Gaydar. Just to be safe, you may as well replace the batteries in the Crazy Meter, too. You just never know... 17 Jan 2010 15:05:51 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-01-17.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast CCAA40A3-D2C7-430B-950A-EE6AF6B1E3FA 309 Walk On By Sometimes it seems that your Gaydar is just not working properly. You encounter Lesbians and nothing happens, you see Gay men and there are no bells...something is just not right. If that's happening to you, it might just mean that it's time to replace the batteries in your Gaydar. Just to be safe, you may as well replace the batteries in the Crazy Meter, too. You just never know... 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:06 yes Scientists have very specific techniques they use when examining foreign substances for the first time. They never stick their nose in it and take a direct whiff and they never touch it to take a taste of it until they know wether or not the substance is safe. You never know if what you're examining might be what the dog excreted from its anal glands earlier that day. 13 Jan 2010 15:05:51 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-01-13.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast BCCDE217-B3BF-4F49-BAA1-A75405AE31E9 308 Miss Communication Scientists have very specific techniques they use when examining foreign substances for the first time. They never stick their nose in it and take a direct whiff and they never touch it to take a taste of it until they know wether or not the substance is safe. You never know if what you're examining might be what the dog excreted from its anal glands earlier that day. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 14:03 yes The Sims has always been a Gay friendly game. You can create same sex couples, have them kiss and be affectionate with each other, and even live together. If you've ever played the game, you're familiar with the unique brand of mumble-speak Sims use to communicate with each other. What you may not have known is that some of the Sims have left the game and are now working at CVS Pharmacy. There's a reason some people never leave the house. 6 Jan 2010 15:05:51 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-01-06.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast BC495284-347C-4D31-AF56-082EE8A0DE3F 307 Mumblina The Sims has always been a Gay friendly game. You can create same sex couples, have them kiss and be affectionate with each other, and even live together. If you've ever played the game, you're familiar with the unique brand of mumble-speak Sims use to communicate with each other. What you may not have known is that some of the Sims have left the game and are now working at CVS Pharmacy. There's a reason some people never leave the house. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 16:32 yes Learning institutions should be safe and protected environments where everyone is free to learn. Within those austere walls it's completely inappropriate for a teacher to even consider having sex with a student. The rules, however, may not be so clear for the teachers when it comes to having sex with each other. Either way, you'd at least think they would have enough common sense to lock the classroom door before taking their clothes off. 4 Jan 2010 01:32:35 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2010-01-03.mp3 2Homos@2Homos.com Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast, lesbian podcast 99E00F40-9443-4E1B-B133-EA205656BF5F 306 Hot For Teacher Learning institutions should be safe and protected environments where everyone is free to learn. Within those austere walls it's completely inappropriate for a teacher to even consider having sex with a student. The rules, however, may not be so clear for the teachers when it comes to having sex with each other. Either way, you'd at least think they would have enough common sense to lock the classroom door before taking their clothes off. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos, lesbian podcast, gay podcast 12:18 yes First time jitters are natural the first time you're with a woman. You may be confused about what to do once you get into that situation, you may be nervous that you won't know how to please her, and you definitely don't want to look stupid once her clothes come off. As usual we've got some good advice for you that includes not shaving her entire body in the bathtub on the first date. 31 Dec 2009 01:32:35 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-12-31.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast CEA99EE1-37A0-4ED4-B4F5-1AD9A0B4A531 305 First Time Etiquette First time jitters are natural the first time you're with a woman. You may be confused about what to do once you get into that situation, you may be nervous that you won't know how to please her, and you definitely don't want to look stupid once her clothes come off. As usual we've got some good advice for you that includes not shaving her entire body in the bathtub on the first date. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:14 yes If your lady has been cranky for no reason lately, your first reaction may be that she is PMS'ing...again. Maybe she's not getting enough sleep, maybe she's not getting enough sex or maybe she's just a plain old bitch. Once you get beyond all of that, there may actually be a medical reason for her short temper. It could be that she is low on electrolytes or possibly her iron levels are deficient. Time for a doctor check-up. 28 Dec 2009 04:32:35 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-12-28.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast CEA99EE1-28E0-4ED4-B4F5-1AD9A0A6A531 304 Cranky For a Reason If your lady has been cranky for no reason lately, your first reaction may be that she is PMS'ing...again. Maybe she's not getting enough sleep, maybe she's not getting enough sex or maybe she's just a plain old bitch. Once you get beyond all of that, there may actually be a medical reason for her short temper. It could be that she is low on electrolytes or possibly her iron levels are deficient. Time for a doctor check-up. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:58 yes Young Lesbians everywhere need to beware. There are straight women on the prowl looking to prey on susceptible young Lesbians by luring them into hot, smokin' extramarital affairs and relationships without disclosing the whole truth - that they have a husband at home! Add straight women to the list of predators that nice young ladies need to watch out for. 24 Dec 2009 04:32:35 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-12-24.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast CEA56EE1-28E0-4ED4-B4F5-1AD9A0A6A687 303 Lesbo Curious Young Lesbians everywhere need to beware. There are straight women on the prowl looking to prey on susceptible young Lesbians by luring them into hot, smokin' extramarital affairs and relationships without disclosing the whole truth - that they have a husband at home! Add straight women to the list of predators that nice young ladies need to watch out for. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 16:13 yes It's the time of year for giving, so why not give something to yourself? It's OK if you take gift cards from needy children, smoke crack with funds from the city you work for, or buy prostitutes by using your government spending account. It's only when you get a blow job at your place of work that it becomes an issue...even if you're multi-tasking and getting work done at the same time. 21 Dec 2009 04:32:35 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-12-20.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast CEA27EE1-28E0-4ED4-B4F5-9ED9A0A6A687 302 Robbin' Hood It's the time of year for giving, so why not give something to yourself? It's OK if you take gift cards from needy children, smoke crack with funds from the city you work for, or buy prostitutes by using your government spending account. It's only when you get a blow job at your place of work that it becomes an issue...even if you're multi-tasking and getting work done at the same time. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 09:29 yes There's more than one way to stuff your stocking this holiday season, but we'd be remiss if we didn't give you our rundown of great gift ideas for friends, loved ones and even those you hate. We've got something for everyone on your list whether they've been naughty, nice or just plain nasty. Break out that credit card and get ready to revive the economy. 16 Dec 2009 04:32:35 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-12-15.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 21B9E859-A16E-4581-9F73-DF03CE2AB6BB 301 Stocking Stuffer There's more than one way to stuff your stocking this holiday season, but we'd be remiss if we didn't give you our rundown of great gift ideas for friends, loved ones and even those you hate. We've got something for everyone on your list whether they've been naughty, nice or just plain nasty. Break out that credit card and get ready to revive the economy. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:07 yes It's not that Lesbians don't want attractive bras to wear. We just need them to be attractive, yet still functional. Sports bras are functional, but not necessarily attractive. 18-hour bras are functional, but not necessarily attractive. Worst of all, you don't want to pick up a woman you think is "double D" who happens to really be a "nearly A" when you get her home. 12 Dec 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-12-12.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 09187DF0-3725-4EA8-90A8-66F5FD7E3205 300 Lesbian Bra Shop It's not that Lesbians don't want attractive bras to wear. We just need them to be attractive, yet still functional. Sports bras are functional, but not necessarily attractive. 18-hour bras are functional, but not necessarily attractive. Worst of all, you don't want to pick up a woman you think is "double D" who happens to really be a "nearly A" when you get her home. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:12 yes Good fences make good neighbors. It also helps to have a fence that's six-feet tall so you don't ever have to talk to your neighbors or interact with them. Best of all, it also helps maintain the mystery about who your neighbors really are. That way you'll never have to know that the Steppford Wife next door sells Botox for a living and has man-voice. 8 Dec 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-12-08.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast AAC1B9C3-A6EB-4959-B9C3-8DC6FF16B15E 299 Pissing Contest Good fences make good neighbors. It also helps to have a fence that's six-feet tall so you don't ever have to talk to your neighbors or interact with them. Best of all, it also helps maintain the mystery about who your neighbors really are. That way you'll never have to know that the Steppford Wife next door sells Botox for a living and has man-voice. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:25 yes The secret to a long-lasting, fulfilling relationship is to make sure that both partners get their needs fulfilled on a regular basis. Next time your partner wants to do something that you hate doing, simply send them on a play date with a friend and you won't have to deal with it. Then you can stay home and fall in love with fake characters in a video game all by yourself. 5 Dec 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-12-05.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 2ECD6292-CEAB-448C-9EE0-CA226DE18028 298 Gay Play Date The secret to a long-lasting, fulfilling relationship is to make sure that both partners get their needs fulfilled on a regular basis. Next time your partner wants to do something that you hate doing, simply send them on a play date with a friend and you won't have to deal with it. Then you can stay home and fall in love with fake characters in a video game all by yourself. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:50 yes December 1, 1988 marked the first official World AIDS Day, but it's a pandemic that we have all been living with for more than 25 years. We may have drugs and cocktails that help slow down and even reverse the effects, but they're not accessible, affordable or tolerable for everyone that needs them world-wide. The long-term affects are also unclear. This fight is far from over, so speak up, speak out, communicate with your partner and make sure you're protected. 1 Dec 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-12-01.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast E52F41E0-D5DF-43F5-BD99-6BB6B6852F35 297 Not Over Yet December 1, 1988 marked the first official World AIDS Day, but it's a pandemic that we have all been living with for more than 25 years. We may have drugs and cocktails that help slow down and even reverse the effects, but they're not accessible, affordable or tolerable for everyone that needs them world-wide. The long-term affects are also unclear. This fight is far from over, so speak up, speak out, communicate with your partner and make sure you're protected. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:49 yes Adults are not that much different from babies. When you want to get a baby to stop crying, you try to divert their attention to something else. Maybe it's food, a different toy or a funny face that you make. When Lesbians start getting into a heated conversation, simply try pointing out a nice looking lady with big boobs. That should do the trick and get everyone into a happier place. 29 Nov 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-11-29.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast B0D217FE-321F-4F2D-8EA7-552A92A547DD 296 Change the Subject Adults are not that much different from babies. When you want to get a baby to stop crying, you try to divert their attention to something else. Maybe it's food, a different toy or a funny face that you make. When Lesbians start getting into a heated conversation, simply try pointing out a nice looking lady with big boobs. That should do the trick and get everyone into a happier place. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 08:06 yes As a parent it's important to keep track of who your kids are hanging out with, what kind of music they're into and what bad things they might be getting up to. Adults should be good role models for their children by exhibiting appropriate behavior at all times. Encouraging 10-year olds to share ring tones with bad words and sexual references might not be a good example of being a mature adult role model. 27 Nov 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-11-27.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast F9FB21CF-7EFF-401E-B7B0-C2958F32712F 295 Mature Adults As a parent it's important to keep track of who your kids are hanging out with, what kind of music they're into and what bad things they might be getting up to. Adults should be good role models for their children by exhibiting appropriate behavior at all times. Encouraging 10-year olds to share ring tones with bad words and sexual references might not be a good example of being a mature adult role model. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:10 yes Next time you're online looking for your new ex-wife at one of the Lesbian dating sites, you may want to update your profile about what you're looking for in a lady. Add that you're looking for someone who is a breast technician at a mammogram center. This is someone that fondles breasts for a living, they understand the importance of warm hands, and they've got a lot of experience picking up and fondling all kinds of breasts. That's what they do for a living....so they get a lot of practice. 22 Nov 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-11-22.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 0F0EC7C9-ACAF-4400-AC59-BAC69D92749F 294 Nipple Finder Next time you're online looking for your new ex-wife at one of the Lesbian dating sites, you may want to update your profile about what you're looking for in a lady. Add that you're looking for someone who is a breast technician at a mammogram center. This is someone that fondles breasts for a living, they understand the importance of warm hands, and they've got a lot of experience picking up and fondling all kinds of breasts. That's what they do for a living....so they get a lot of practice. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:31 yes Once the relationship has ended and it's time to dispose of all those fun sex toys you acquired over the week that your latest long-term relationship lasted, it's important to know how to dispose of your toys properly. If you can't donate your used toys to the local Goodwill, you can always spread some good will of your own by depositing them in your neighbors' mailboxes. Just make sure they don't have a dog that likes to chew things. 18 Nov 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-11-18.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 751BD9B8-D218-4B43-A76E-B8D74C944C3D 293 Dispose of Properly Once the relationship has ended and it's time to dispose of all those fun sex toys you acquired over the week that your latest long-term relationship lasted, it's important to know how to dispose of your toys properly. If you can't donate your used toys to the local Goodwill, you can always spread some good will of your own by depositing them in your neighbors' mailboxes. Just make sure they don't have a dog that likes to chew things. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:41 yes Good friends are always there when you need them, but it's your best friends that you can really count on to tell you all about the best sex toys to use with your new girlfriend. When you make that new purchase, just try not to leave it at your parent's house when you spend the night. Even if they don't use it...just the thought that they touch it is enough to throw it right into the trash. 15 Nov 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-11-15.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast C255513D-F6DE-4AD4-AE5A-EC136D502C8D 292 Tongue Joy Good friends are always there when you need them, but it's your best friends that you can really count on to tell you all about the best sex toys to use with your new girlfriend. When you make that new purchase, just try not to leave it at your parent's house when you spend the night. Even if they don't use it...just the thought that they touch it is enough to throw it right into the trash. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 16:27 yes Today's parents think they're internet savvy and that they know where their kids are going on the internet. Well...it turns out your kids really are smarter than you. They know how to log on to your computer, they know how to erase their browsing history and they know all your passwords, too. Maybe next time you'll choose a password that's not the name of your favorite pet. 11 Nov 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-11-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 293656D8-C990-43E8-ADA5-248AB68B94B8 291 Your Kids Are Watching Today's parents think they're internet savvy and that they know where their kids are going on the internet. Well...it turns out your kids really are smarter than you. They know how to log on to your computer, they know how to erase their browsing history and they know all your passwords, too. Maybe next time you'll choose a password that's not the name of your favorite pet. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:43 yes In a time before Lesbian bars, before there were Lesbian go-go dancers and before we knew more than a handful of Gay people each....that time was called, high school. Now we have domestic partnerships, we're on our way to a time in the future when Gay marriage will be legal, LGBT people won't feel like second class citizens, and Olivia Cruises will be selling tickets for a trip to the moon. 8 Nov 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-11-08.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 8A5DACE4-CE27-45C4-88F8-76EF1DE734F9 290 Lesbians on the Moon In a time before Lesbian bars, before there were Lesbian go-go dancers and before we knew more than a handful of Gay people each....that time was called, high school. Now we have domestic partnerships, we're on our way to a time in the future when Gay marriage will be legal, LGBT people won't feel like second class citizens, and Olivia Cruises will be selling tickets for a trip to the moon. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:25 yes Here's more proof that what happens in Vegas certainly does not stay in Vegas...especially when two Homos are on the trip. Now the secret is out that you'll find dancers with stripper poles in furry boots at the Hard Rock, there are valets parking cars who are older than 50, you can score less than 80 in bowling and still have a really good game, and it is possible to find bad bread pudding on the Strip. 4 Nov 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-11-04.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast C8F365B0-B360-45F5-82CC-036315004CF2 289 Vegas Secrets Here's more proof that what happens in Vegas certainly does not stay in Vegas...especially when two Homos are on the trip. Now the secret is out that you'll find dancers with stripper poles in furry boots at the Hard Rock, there are valets parking cars who are older than 50, you can score less than 80 in bowling and still have a really good game, and it is possible to find bad bread pudding on the Strip. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 34:41 yes There's nothing wrong with dressing up for Halloween, handing out candy and having a little fun. It's when you start offering candy to everyone in the neighborhood, including the parents, that you're starting to cross the line. Thinking that you may decorate the entire house and the whole backyard to become a haunted house for everyone to walk through is really going too far. 1 Nov 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-11-01.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast ADA52F77-CA28-4719-82C0-312C74D0E905 288 Holiday Countdown There's nothing wrong with dressing up for Halloween, handing out candy and having a little fun. It's when you start offering candy to everyone in the neighborhood, including the parents, that you're starting to cross the line. Thinking that you may decorate the entire house and the whole backyard to become a haunted house for everyone to walk through is really going too far. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:24 yes Today's Lesbians are entirely too busy to be wasting time. We need to make every minute count. As long as you've got a doctor's appointment you may as well have them check your blood pressure, do a full physical and get that pap smear out of the way all at the some time. Don't forget a pair of tassels so that you can make a little extra money on the side while you have your mammogram done. 27 Oct 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-10-27.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 97C5FA57-7C07-4C01-90EF-7219D7D2F1FF 287 While You're Down There Today's Lesbians are entirely too busy to be wasting time. We need to make every minute count. As long as you've got a doctor's appointment you may as well have them check your blood pressure, do a full physical and get that pap smear out of the way all at the some time. Don't forget a pair of tassels so that you can make a little extra money on the side while you have your mammogram done. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:37 yes It's not that Lesbians don't like manicures and pedicures, it's just that not everyone wants to get it done in the middle of a straight chick fest. It might be more comfortable to get it done in the Lesbian nail salon where they have a refrigerator full of beer, the game is being shown on a giant flat-screen TV, the latest issue of Curve is available to flip through, and the ladies from Clinique have a booth to show young Femmes how to apply the latest colors for Fall. 24 Oct 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-10-24.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 49028C9D-EE4E-4EB6-B0ED-8123C9B3D881 286 Straight Chick Fest It's not that Lesbians don't like manicures and pedicures, it's just that not everyone wants to get it done in the middle of a straight chick fest. It might be more comfortable to get it done in the Lesbian nail salon where they have a refrigerator full of beer, the game is being shown on a giant flat-screen TV, the latest issue of Curve is available to flip through, and the ladies from Clinique have a booth to show young Femmes how to apply the latest colors for Fall. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:49 yes It may not be immediately obvious, but "help" really is a four-letter word. "Help" should not cost you extra money, require more of your time than if you were to do something yourself, or aggravate you to the point where you need pills to keep you calm. Next time someone tries to help you...help yourself instead and just say, "no". 19 Oct 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-10-19.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast AF149DA3-F2EF-479A-A2D7-08FC0A67C075 285 Just Trying to Help It may not be immediately obvious, but "help" really is a four-letter word. "Help" should not cost you extra money, require more of your time than if you were to do something yourself, or aggravate you to the point where you need pills to keep you calm. Next time someone tries to help you...help yourself instead and just say, "no". 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:18 yes It's creepy enough when you pets are in the same room with you watching while you're having sex, but to have a family member walk in while your ass is up in the air is really embarrassing. It's a good thing your parents don't know how to upload videos to You Tube. Otherwise, you might just be an overnight Internet sensation. 14 Oct 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-10-14.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast B12A5DC5-DD19-47CA-BF64-E8B66F306CF5 284 Sexposed It's creepy enough when you pets are in the same room with you watching while you're having sex, but to have a family member walk in while your ass is up in the air is really embarrassing. It's a good thing your parents don't know how to upload videos to You Tube. Otherwise, you might just be an overnight Internet sensation. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:31 yes Sometimes you just need that little kick start to get yourself motivated to start on a big project such as cleaning up the house. Now there's an answer. Simply tune in to "Hoarders" on A&E Network and you will be filled with the fear, motivation and neuroses to make sure that you clean out every closet, organize every drawer and take all your old clothes and unused household items to the nearest charitable drop off location. 11 Oct 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-10-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast B9DC7712-567D-47D1-B2AC-583FA7F1C70C 283 Motivation Sometimes you just need that little kick start to get yourself motivated to start on a big project such as cleaning up the house. Now there's an answer. Simply tune in to "Hoarders" on A&E Network and you will be filled with the fear, motivation and neuroses to make sure that you clean out every closet, organize every drawer and take all your old clothes and unused household items to the nearest charitable drop off location. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:57 yes In tough times it's good to have an entrepreneurial spirit to help kick start the economy once again. The key to success is to find that one unique idea that has a good chance of success. Sponsoring drug dealers near high schools or using condom companies to sponsor school sports teams may not be examples of winning formulas. 3 Oct 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-10-03.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 53106CCE-D541-40B3-BE97-A83F430FD54C 282 Like a Fart in Church In tough times it's good to have an entrepreneurial spirit to help kick start the economy once again. The key to success is to find that one unique idea that has a good chance of success. Sponsoring drug dealers near high schools or using condom companies to sponsor school sports teams may not be examples of winning formulas. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:43 yes There's nothing like a lazy Sunday afternoon watching football, throwing back a few beers and maybe winning a few dollars in the football pool with your friends. That was until we found Friday night football courtesy of the Lingerie Football League. Make sure you take your heart medication before you tune in. 30 Sep 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-09-30.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 0E878C27-B59B-414A-B530-58C4FF9A6107 281 Pigs There's nothing like a lazy Sunday afternoon watching football, throwing back a few beers and maybe winning a few dollars in the football pool with your friends. That was until we found Friday night football courtesy of the Lingerie Football League. Make sure you take your heart medication before you tune in. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:10 yes Before you go camping, it's a good idea to make a list of the things you'll need. First, make sure you drive your Porsche to the camp ground. Don't forget the beer cups that you can write your name on, the portable Uno game, the travel stripper pole and a couple of Lesbians to take pictures of your camp site when the bear comes to visit. 27 Sep 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-09-27.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 6C9A0948-5818-40C9-8056-0B3EF4806AD6 280 Ken and Barbie Go Camping Before you go camping, it's a good idea to make a list of the things you'll need. First, make sure you drive your Porsche to the camp ground. Don't forget the beer cups that you can write your name on, the portable Uno game, the travel stripper pole and a couple of Lesbians to take pictures of your camp site when the bear comes to visit. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 18:58 yes You know you're an old married Lesbian when to have "fun" you head to the nearest Sears and fantasize about buying new appliances for your home. It might be time to break up and start dating someone 20 years younger who wants to party all night and have sex all day. One thing is for sure...she'll be more expensive than the shopping trip to Sears. 23 Sep 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-09-23.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 0A2B2525-FE3D-43F9-A565-C5ED75583D8D 279 Losing Track of Time You know you're an old married Lesbian when to have "fun" you head to the nearest Sears and fantasize about buying new appliances for your home. It might be time to break up and start dating someone 20 years younger who wants to party all night and have sex all day. One thing is for sure...she'll be more expensive than the shopping trip to Sears. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:47 yes Sitting through an entire wedding can be a long, drawn out and painful experience...even if it's your best friend getting married. To help make the time go by quicker, why not give yourself a sense of purpose and come prepared with a special mission of your own. Chat up every hot girl at the wedding reception and try to find single lady to hook up with your neurologist. 20 Sep 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-09-20.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 56E9EE14-BFB2-44EA-ACAF-5D17820C814D 278 Maid of Honor Sitting through an entire wedding can be a long, drawn out and painful experience...even if it's your best friend getting married. To help make the time go by quicker, why not give yourself a sense of purpose and come prepared with a special mission of your own. Chat up every hot girl at the wedding reception and try to find single lady to hook up with your neurologist. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:43 yes This Fall, Lesbians all over the world will be making a striking fashion statement as they dig deep into their closets to pull out those old fanny packs we all used to wear back in the 80's. Now you can be both fashionable and sensible as you discretely carry all those Lesbian necessities - your wallet, your hairbrush, your lip balm and your car keys. Don't forget to tuck in a few cherry dental dams for good measure. 10 Sep 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-09-10.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 5BE09288-5611-4B5B-A988-AA91C86B9990 277 Fanny Pack Couture This Fall, Lesbians all over the world will be making a striking fashion statement as they dig deep into their closets to pull out those old fanny packs we all used to wear back in the 80's. Now you can be both fashionable and sensible as you discretely carry all those Lesbian necessities - your wallet, your hairbrush, your lip balm and your car keys. Don't forget to tuck in a few cherry dental dams for good measure. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:04 yes The LA County Fair is not any different from a country fair you'd find anywhere in the U.S. We have animals, carnival rides, cotton candy, silly games and crappy fried food. We also have half naked women walking around in tank tops that are too small for them and daisy dukes that go half way up their asses. The only difference is that in LA you might have to question whether their boobs are real or plastic. 7 Sep 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-09-07.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 711DAE64-0B17-4877-866D-D03EF04940AC 276 My Fair Lady The LA County Fair is not any different from a country fair you'd find anywhere in the U.S. We have animals, carnival rides, cotton candy, silly games and crappy fried food. We also have half naked women walking around in tank tops that are too small for them and daisy dukes that go half way up their asses. The only difference is that in LA you might have to question whether their boobs are real or plastic. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:20 yes In this economy it's important to make sure you come to a job interview with your "A" game. You might only get one shot at landing that important job, so make sure you're ready. A few tips to keep in mind - take a shower before you go, don't show up in your sweatpants, wear some deodorant, and tits out is optional...although not always recommended. 2 Sep 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-09-02.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast A35226CC-21FB-4E40-8D9C-E40D8B043A1C 275 The Job Interview In this economy it's important to make sure you come to a job interview with your "A" game. You might only get one shot at landing that important job, so make sure you're ready. A few tips to keep in mind - take a shower before you go, don't show up in your sweatpants, wear some deodorant, and tits out is optional...although not always recommended. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:25 yes If you don't kiss someone that is standing under mistletoe, it means you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. Whether you believe that superstition or not, it's probably worth taking a chance by walking away if an ugly Lesbian with halitosis is standing under that mistletoe. Having bad luck for the rest of your life just has to be a better outcome. 30 Aug 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-08-30.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 668FC3B0-7FB7-4B2D-AF66-5DD45DA7BDA7 247 Banana Boat If you don't kiss someone that is standing under mistletoe, it means you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. Whether you believe that superstition or not, it's probably worth taking a chance by walking away if an ugly Lesbian with halitosis is standing under that mistletoe. Having bad luck for the rest of your life just has to be a better outcome. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:18 yes It's never easy to ask for help when you're not able to take care of yourself as well as you used to, but if that time ever comes, you may as well do it in the best possible style you can think of. Get the wheelchair with the spinning hubcaps and gold plated rims. Deck it out with Italian leather seats with temperature controlled seat warmers. And, make sure it has a cup holder on the side to hold your diamond encrusted Pimp Cup. 26 Aug 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-08-26.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 9A4BBEFA-1E08-4525-8008-D7EF9BEB0196 273 The Real Deal It's never easy to ask for help when you're not able to take care of yourself as well as you used to, but if that time ever comes, you may as well do it in the best possible style you can think of. Get the wheelchair with the spinning hubcaps and gold plated rims. Deck it out with Italian leather seats with temperature controlled seat warmers. And, make sure it has a cup holder on the side to hold your diamond encrusted Pimp Cup. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:13 yes It's not hard to pick up Lesbians once you know the secret. All you need is a cute puppy or a minor sports injury. It doesn't even have to be a real injury. Simply go out with a small cast or a sprained limb wrapped in some gauze, add some crutches for effect, and you're guaranteed to meet the girl of your dreams. 23 Aug 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-08-23.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 13E3D75F-2F5A-45F4-84D0-22E446E6AEFB 272 Chick Magnet It's not hard to pick up Lesbians once you know the secret. All you need is a cute puppy or a minor sports injury. It doesn't even have to be a real injury. Simply go out with a small cast or a sprained limb wrapped in some gauze, add some crutches for effect, and you're guaranteed to meet the girl of your dreams. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:14 yes Global warming is a serious issue that will have long-lasting effects on our planet and impact not only our lives, but the lives of our children and grandchildren as well. But, if reducing our carbon footprint means having to ride in crowded buses and trains with sweaty strangers that stink, then it's worth burning fossil fuels for hours a day jammed on the freeway heading back and forth to work alone in your car with the air conditioning cranked all the way up. 19 Aug 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-08-19.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast CCF389B0-79AB-4464-87CD-4063BB4C04EA 271 Company of Strangers Global warming is a serious issue that will have long-lasting effects on our planet and impact not only our lives, but the lives of our children and grandchildren as well. But, if reducing our carbon footprint means having to ride in crowded buses and trains with sweaty strangers that stink, then it's worth burning fossil fuels for hours a day jammed on the freeway heading back and forth to work alone in your car with the air conditioning cranked all the way up. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:50 yes As you search for the perfect wife, make sure you keep in mind all the good qualities that make for a long, loving and happy relationship. Try to find someone who is trustworthy, loyal, considerate, generous and fun to be around. Most importantly, make sure she knows how to fix the computers and take care of all the other electronic gadgets in the house. 16 Aug 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-08-16.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 1699A653-E3EE-4CA7-8365-73DB476567BC 270 Low Tech As you search for the perfect wife, make sure you keep in mind all the good qualities that make for a long, loving and happy relationship. Try to find someone who is trustworthy, loyal, considerate, generous and fun to be around. Most importantly, make sure she knows how to fix the computers and take care of all the other electronic gadgets in the house. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 09:14 yes There's a reason why restaurants have signs in their restrooms that insist employees wash their hands before returning to work. It's so that they don't stick their nasty fingers up their asses and then stir your latte with that same finger. If it wasn't a problem....they wouldn't need the signs. 12 Aug 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-08-12.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 6E818DC7-82EA-4C17-8D6C-B0C1D3D6CB08 269 Paranoia There's a reason why restaurants have signs in their restrooms that insist employees wash their hands before returning to work. It's so that they don't stick their nasty fingers up their asses and then stir your latte with that same finger. If it wasn't a problem....they wouldn't need the signs. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:19 yes In an ongoing effort for companies to save money and cut back on expenses, live operators are being replaced by automated phone systems. As long as they're going down that path, it's comforting to know that they've put a lot of time and effort into making those automated systems as exasperating and annoying as talking to a real live customer service agent. 8 Aug 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-08-08.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 8F796DE2-F677-4A0F-A885-9A22C0CAFA37 268 Automaton In an ongoing effort for companies to save money and cut back on expenses, live operators are being replaced by automated phone systems. As long as they're going down that path, it's comforting to know that they've put a lot of time and effort into making those automated systems as exasperating and annoying as talking to a real live customer service agent. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 09:28 yes It's a lot of power to wield to be the proud owner of a Va Jay Jay. You have the power to make grown men stop in their tracks cold, to start blathering like idiots, to render them unable to think with anything except the smaller version of themselves between their legs, and to make them do things they might regret for the rest of their lives. What a bitch when they find out you're a big 'ol Homo. 5 Aug 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-08-05.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast EA53BA67-CA45-45AC-B830-63E274B76EFE 267 Power of the Va Jay Jay It's a lot of power to wield to be the proud owner of a Va Jay Jay. You have the power to make grown men stop in their tracks cold, to start blathering like idiots, to render them unable to think with anything except the smaller version of themselves between their legs, and to make them do things they might regret for the rest of their lives. What a bitch when they find out you're a big 'ol Homo. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:22 yes Just because you're a Lesbian it doesn't necessarily mean that you don't like penises. Lots of Lesbians enjoy toys and strap-ons shaped like a phallus. It's just that most of them don't want to have one with a man attached to the other side touching them. 2 Aug 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-08-02.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast A4B14228-E3F2-4057-B9C5-1A617E8B11DF 266 Sophie's Choice Just because you're a Lesbian it doesn't necessarily mean that you don't like penises. Lots of Lesbians enjoy toys and strap-ons shaped like a phallus. It's just that most of them don't want to have one with a man attached to the other side touching them. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:21 yes There are some things you never want to hear come out of your mother or grandmother's mouths. Some of those things might be, "Is that the sex toy shop you go to?", "Do you use the super extra-wide tampons?" and "F@#K you LA". You might just get lucky and actually hear all those things in one single week. Time to got to Vegas. 29 Jul 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-07-29.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast DB3F3152-4617-4142-92A4-09A863F35BE8 265 F.U. LA There are some things you never want to hear come out of your mother or grandmother's mouths. Some of those things might be, "Is that the sex toy shop you go to?", "Do you use the super extra-wide tampons?" and "F@#K you LA". You might just get lucky and actually hear all those things in one single week. Time to got to Vegas. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:33 yes The $80 you just spent for lunch at a trendy new West Hollywood restaurant won't be near enough to make up for the amount of business they'll now lose by having the Lesbian Beverly Hillbillies show up during prime time. The restaurant just fell off Paris Hilton's "to do" list for this week. 26 Jul 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-07-26.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 75CD1921-82B1-4A7C-9327-1BB8131911E4 264 Lesbian Beverly Hillbillies The $80 you just spent for lunch at a trendy new West Hollywood restaurant won't be near enough to make up for the amount of business they'll now lose by having the Lesbian Beverly Hillbillies show up during prime time. The restaurant just fell off Paris Hilton's "to do" list for this week. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:19 yes Since the sanctity of marriage is so important, it's time for straight couples to take some responsibility in this area. From now on, every time a straight couple gets divorced, 10 Gay couples will be allowed to get married. If one commits adultery, that means 20 Gay couples can get married. And, for each politician that has an affair, that automatically gives 100 Gay couples the opportunity to get married. 19 Jul 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-07-19.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast F8E21EB1-6B11-4934-9EA9-F0BDE8D9D5C4 263 Sanctity of Marriage Since the sanctity of marriage is so important, it's time for straight couples to take some responsibility in this area. From now on, every time a straight couple gets divorced, 10 Gay couples will be allowed to get married. If one commits adultery, that means 20 Gay couples can get married. And, for each politician that has an affair, that automatically gives 100 Gay couples the opportunity to get married. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:17 yes Let's face it...you want your house to look good for the holidays, but if you do it yourself it will be the home decorating equivalent of "Dyke in a dress". Fortunately for you there's still plenty of time to hire a couple of Gay men to get it done right. Not only will your house make it on to the cover of "House Beautiful", but you won't have to worry about taking down the decorations after the holiday either. 15 Jul 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-07-15.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 4F90C15A-EDF7-40D3-AEA7-A7BA2A9AD0C8 262 Hoarders Let's face it...you want your house to look good for the holidays, but if you do it yourself it will be the home decorating equivalent of "Dyke in a dress". Fortunately for you there's still plenty of time to hire a couple of Gay men to get it done right. Not only will your house make it on to the cover of "House Beautiful", but you won't have to worry about taking down the decorations after the holiday either. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:27 yes Straight people are looking at the issue of Gay marriage all wrong. The money spent on Gay weddings, including the wedding planners, the party decorations, the tux and gown rentals, flowers, cakes and honeymoons alone are enough to bring this country out of the worst recession we've had in more than 50 years. Throw in the amount of money that will also be made on divorces, and the government will in the black in no time. 12 Jul 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-07-12.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast B3D6B339-D0F2-4511-9443-58640DEE95A7 261 Crazy in Love Straight people are looking at the issue of Gay marriage all wrong. The money spent on Gay weddings, including the wedding planners, the party decorations, the tux and gown rentals, flowers, cakes and honeymoons alone are enough to bring this country out of the worst recession we've had in more than 50 years. Throw in the amount of money that will also be made on divorces, and the government will in the black in no time. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:46 yes After you've tried everything possible with western medicine, it's time to give some alternative techniques a try. Instead of spending tons of money on an acupuncturist, why not just grab a friend and do it yourself? Download a license from the internet, pick out some needles from your mom's sewing kit, get a 9-volt battery from the junk drawer, a crappy CD player and a nice heat lamp at Homo Depot. You're all set. 9 Jul 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-07-09.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 0D298969-C540-4406-B6C1-F47A5DD64565 260 Little Pricks After you've tried everything possible with western medicine, it's time to give some alternative techniques a try. Instead of spending tons of money on an acupuncturist, why not just grab a friend and do it yourself? Download a license from the internet, pick out some needles from your mom's sewing kit, get a 9-volt battery from the junk drawer, a crappy CD player and a nice heat lamp at Homo Depot. You're all set. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:56 yes One man's trash is another man's treasure. Even if it's a high heel shoe chair with leopard print upholstery, there is someone out there who simply must have it for their home. It doesn't matter if the thing has been on the showroom floor for the last five years, if it's been faded by the sun by sitting out on display or if it smells like piss because a dog peed on it when it went by on a walk. 6 Jul 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-07-06.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 2F49B553-E728-4BE3-AD80-F8E1B50904E4 259 No Refunds One man's trash is another man's treasure. Even if it's a high heel shoe chair with leopard print upholstery, there is someone out there who simply must have it for their home. It doesn't matter if the thing has been on the showroom floor for the last five years, if it's been faded by the sun by sitting out on display or if it smells like piss because a dog peed on it when it went by on a walk. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:52 yes Having any kind of surgical procedure is serious business. It's not the time for your doctor to be holding a knife cutting you open and talking about what he watched on TV last night, whether or not Michael Jackson was wearing wigs or how hot it's going to be this weekend. The only thing worse would be if he got on Twitter and started giving the play by play. 1 Jul 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-07-01.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 41BB0968-9C22-4132-BC5B-74B3647E5F9E 258 Cut It Out Having any kind of surgical procedure is serious business. It's not the time for your doctor to be holding a knife cutting you open and talking about what he watched on TV last night, whether or not Michael Jackson was wearing wigs or how hot it's going to be this weekend. The only thing worse would be if he got on Twitter and started giving the play by play. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:23 yes The statistics show that 9 out of every 10 people are straight, which makes it likely that every one of knows at least one person in our lives that is straight. It's time for all of us to start accepting their cultural differences, to try to understand their lifestyle and to stop referring to their life-partners as their "special friend" at family gatherings. Most importantly, let's stop embarrassing them by asking what it is that straight people do in bed. 28 Jun 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-06-28.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 011626DD-30D2-4FF4-8EBB-B141BBFCDA40 257 Bigots The statistics show that 9 out of every 10 people are straight, which makes it likely that every one of knows at least one person in our lives that is straight. It's time for all of us to start accepting their cultural differences, to try to understand their lifestyle and to stop referring to their life-partners as their "special friend" at family gatherings. Most importantly, let's stop embarrassing them by asking what it is that straight people do in bed. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:25 yes Nothing says, "I love you" like shopping generic. Next time you hit the grocery store don't forget to pick up the generic six-pack of beer in the white can with nothing, but the word "beer" on it, the generic cigarettes and the generic tampons. She couldn't love you more, unless you also brought home the generic green beans. 24 Jun 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-06-24.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast B8D0702F-EBEB-4820-A7D2-EE628BACD948 256 Generic Brand Shopping Nothing says, "I love you" like shopping generic. Next time you hit the grocery store don't forget to pick up the generic six-pack of beer in the white can with nothing, but the word "beer" on it, the generic cigarettes and the generic tampons. She couldn't love you more, unless you also brought home the generic green beans. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:53 yes A major recession across the country, 11% unemployment in California, teachers getting laid off because of budget cuts and more people struggling to make ends meet since the Great Depression.... Still, the City of Los Angeles can somehow find $2 million dollars to throw a parade to celebrate a basketball team. Of course if the Laker Girls showed up in thongs, dancing on fire engines with stripper poles attached to them none of us would have complained no matter what they paid. 21 Jun 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-06-21.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast ED0B4E2A-6FA4-48F4-8741-A628E8D80A5D 255 Laker Girls in Thongs A major recession across the country, 11% unemployment in California, teachers getting laid off because of budget cuts and more people struggling to make ends meet since the Great Depression.... Still, the City of Los Angeles can somehow find $2 million dollars to throw a parade to celebrate a basketball team. Of course if the Laker Girls showed up in thongs, dancing on fire engines with stripper poles attached to them none of us would have complained no matter what they paid. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:34 yes Nothing says sexy like a set of mismatched bra and panties, unless that same sexy set has a hole the size of a quarter in it. Instead of sitting there laughing and shaming your partner, why not turn it into a sexy shopping date where you pick out a few new sets of lingerie together? Or, you can just shame her even more by tossing her in the car, dropping her off at the store and making her buy it herself. 18 Jun 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-06-18.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 450AB1B0-B39E-429E-91E0-F7162227E21D 254 Lesbian Lingerie Chic Nothing says sexy like a set of mismatched bra and panties, unless that same sexy set has a hole the size of a quarter in it. Instead of sitting there laughing and shaming your partner, why not turn it into a sexy shopping date where you pick out a few new sets of lingerie together? Or, you can just shame her even more by tossing her in the car, dropping her off at the store and making her buy it herself. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:40 yes There comes a time in every relationship when the best thing to do to maintain harmony is to suck it up and do something you don't like just because your partner enjoys it. At times like that all you can do is take some extra medication, grab a huge cup of coffee, break out an extra six-pack, and man up...even if it means going to the theater. 15 Jun 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-06-15.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 174B8E37-0DB8-4181-8129-DECF37CBCB91 253 Gay Male Envy There comes a time in every relationship when the best thing to do to maintain harmony is to suck it up and do something you don't like just because your partner enjoys it. At times like that all you can do is take some extra medication, grab a huge cup of coffee, break out an extra six-pack, and man up...even if it means going to the theater. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:35 yes Perhaps when parents give their children the talk about the "birds and the bees", they might add that the birds and the bees masturbate, too. That might be a way to prevent accidents, such as getting a fish stuck in your penis or having power tools inserted into your vagina. It might also help every straight women know what an orgasm feels like before they have to go and find their first Lesbian experience. 12 Jun 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-06-12.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 99946570-4FFC-4333-B91D-8046DAF4B07A 252 Basics of Masturbation Perhaps when parents give their children the talk about the "birds and the bees", they might add that the birds and the bees masturbate, too. That might be a way to prevent accidents, such as getting a fish stuck in your penis or having power tools inserted into your vagina. It might also help every straight women know what an orgasm feels like before they have to go and find their first Lesbian experience. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:30 yes We've all heard about people that get fired from their jobs or suspended from school because they stay up all night playing games on their computer and can't go to work or school for days at a time. What we never considered was that Gramps would get his first computer and start staying up late at night playing poker with people he's never met and that call themselves by names he has never said out loud in his life. 10 Jun 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-06-10.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 0AE3D207-C1CF-43D0-B04E-D36248C2E904 251 Gramps Dot Com We've all heard about people that get fired from their jobs or suspended from school because they stay up all night playing games on their computer and can't go to work or school for days at a time. What we never considered was that Gramps would get his first computer and start staying up late at night playing poker with people he's never met and that call themselves by names he has never said out loud in his life. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:02 yes No matter how hard we try to maintain a separation of church and state in this country, we will never be able to keep prayer out of our schools, public or private. On the day of the big exam students all over the school are reaching out and praying to any deity that will help them pass the test, even if they haven't opened a book all year. 29 May 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-05-29.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast FCDD48E7-B50E-454A-872D-814AD06D4346 250 Agreeably Disagreeable No matter how hard we try to maintain a separation of church and state in this country, we will never be able to keep prayer out of our schools, public or private. On the day of the big exam students all over the school are reaching out and praying to any deity that will help them pass the test, even if they haven't opened a book all year. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:03 yes Almost everyone has had a crazy ex, but not everyone has one that crosses the line into psycho ex. It's hard to figure out exactly where that line is, but comes somewhere after the point where they change their last name to yours after you break up, they start stalking you from three states away, and you need to take out a restraining order to protect your entire family, including your dog. 26 May 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-05-26.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast F9C2E114-99F1-4933-AB49-57ECFC5473AB 249 Apology Accepted Almost everyone has had a crazy ex, but not everyone has one that crosses the line into psycho ex. It's hard to figure out exactly where that line is, but comes somewhere after the point where they change their last name to yours after you break up, they start stalking you from three states away, and you need to take out a restraining order to protect your entire family, including your dog. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:39 yes The rules of successful one night stands are: never sleep with your friends, never sleep with her twice, never take her home to your house so that she knows where you live, never spend the night, and never take off any jewelry that you want to see again. As Lesbians we are simply doomed to break every single one of these rules no matter how hard we try. The least you can do is to bring your own dental dams. 23 May 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-05-23.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast F6049B9E-87E0-4798-ADF9-DC28E5C52DA2 248 Ribbed For Her Pleasure The rules of successful one night stands are: never sleep with your friends, never sleep with her twice, never take her home to your house so that she knows where you live, never spend the night, and never take off any jewelry that you want to see again. As Lesbians we are simply doomed to break every single one of these rules no matter how hard we try. The least you can do is to bring your own dental dams. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:41 yes Why bother spending time and money trying to cure cancer or to stop the pandemic spread of AIDS? We've got lots more important things to do. There are dogs to clone and pets that we need to make glow in the dark. After all...we do have priorities. 20 May 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-05-20.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast B7383F8F-A555-4929-B923-ECCB9881235C 247 Glow in the Dark Why bother spending time and money trying to cure cancer or to stop the pandemic spread of AIDS? We've got lots more important things to do. There are dogs to clone and pets that we need to make glow in the dark. After all...we do have priorities. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 08:01 yes Freedom of expression is something that as humans we should all be able to enjoy. Feel free to fly your freak flag wherever you go. When you finally go to get your eyebrows plucked, however, try to be polite and at least bring an extra vacuum cleaner bag for the cosmetician who has to clean up all your hair they pulled off. 17 May 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-05-17.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast B586965C-8341-4054-A0FF-13603567C41B 246 Frau Lippenbrau Freedom of expression is something that as humans we should all be able to enjoy. Feel free to fly your freak flag wherever you go. When you finally go to get your eyebrows plucked, however, try to be polite and at least bring an extra vacuum cleaner bag for the cosmetician who has to clean up all your hair they pulled off. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:31 yes After all these years we come to find out that there was one more missing tablet that Moses forget to take down the mountain when he brought down the ten commandments. That eleventh commandment has now been found. It says, "Thou shalt not pose half naked in sexy red panties for Hustler Magazine if you plan on keeping your Miss California crown." 14 May 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-05-14.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 403CF4A7-45C0-4D7C-8924-F91BE502302A 245 Miss Kuntafornia After all these years we come to find out that there was one more missing tablet that Moses forget to take down the mountain when he brought down the ten commandments. That eleventh commandment has now been found. It says, "Thou shalt not pose half naked in sexy red panties for Hustler Magazine if you plan on keeping your Miss California crown." 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 09:55 yes There's a reason why the U.S. postal rates are going up in price. It now takes four postal employees, three hours, three post office locations and one self-service postage machine to mail one single package. The cost of the employees to handle all that time, effort and customer service is not nearly enough to cover the amount spent in postage to mail one simple package. 11 May 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-05-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 3D705594-4D66-4E80-AC25-FF51A26C4DCD 244 The Package There's a reason why the U.S. postal rates are going up in price. It now takes four postal employees, three hours, three post office locations and one self-service postage machine to mail one single package. The cost of the employees to handle all that time, effort and customer service is not nearly enough to cover the amount spent in postage to mail one simple package. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 20:35 yes No matter where you shop, it's always appropriate to ask for the "Homo Discount" when you see a big ol' Muff Diver working behind the counter. If you don't succeed in getting a discount on your purchase, maybe you can at least get a date out of it. 5 May 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-05-05.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast FA8F0E9C-F5A1-4598-81B1-683E7C607102 243 Scooter Girl No matter where you shop, it's always appropriate to ask for the "Homo Discount" when you see a big ol' Muff Diver working behind the counter. If you don't succeed in getting a discount on your purchase, maybe you can at least get a date out of it. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:44 yes If you're going to be kept up all night by noises outside your house, it may as well be the neighbors going at it like rabbits. At least that way you know someone is having a good time....even if it's not you. 1 May 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-05-01.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast EFF1E71A-DB06-4BF9-8984-A4A68B64892C 242 Vampire Birds If you're going to be kept up all night by noises outside your house, it may as well be the neighbors going at it like rabbits. At least that way you know someone is having a good time....even if it's not you. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 09:50 yes As people become parents they are automatically endowed with a secret sixth sense. It's the ability to detect pornography going on anywhere within a 50 foot radius around their children. They don't need to see it, smell it, feel it or touch it. Somehow...they just know. 28 Apr 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-04-28.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast FFB6BE0A-D6AF-4763-8EFA-9C6FB852C80E 241 Playmates at Home As people become parents they are automatically endowed with a secret sixth sense. It's the ability to detect pornography going on anywhere within a 50 foot radius around their children. They don't need to see it, smell it, feel it or touch it. Somehow...they just know. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:21 yes Who needs to use an e-vite when you can send a message to a friend telling them they now have the same STD as you...and then invite them to a party at the same time? Of course, you may not need to buy as many snacks or drinks for the party since you may not have too many guests. 25 Apr 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-04-25.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast C455C2F4-BA5E-4AB8-84C2-1FAD711C7666 240 STD-Vite Who needs to use an e-vite when you can send a message to a friend telling them they now have the same STD as you...and then invite them to a party at the same time? Of course, you may not need to buy as many snacks or drinks for the party since you may not have too many guests. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:52 yes When she tells you "I need space", what she really means is that she's really not that into you and that she intends on whoring around with anyone she can find. Of course, she won't actually break up with you, and you can plan on her living with you and sleeping in your bed for at least the next 12 months. That's just the mutant Lesbian gene at work. 22 Apr 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-04-22.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 8813B24A-697A-4FB5-BC38-456E14B5C831 239 When It's Over When she tells you "I need space", what she really means is that she's really not that into you and that she intends on whoring around with anyone she can find. Of course, she won't actually break up with you, and you can plan on her living with you and sleeping in your bed for at least the next 12 months. That's just the mutant Lesbian gene at work. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:16 yes Studies show that LGBT youth are 2 to 3 times more likely to commit suicide compared with straight youth. Sometimes life can be overwhelming and you may feel like you're all alone. When you start to feel like you're the only one, just count 20 people that you know and realize that at least 2 out of 20 are likely to be Gay or Lesbian. Since you're one of them...all you need to do now is figure out who is the other one. If you need more help, call the Trevor Helpline at 866-4 -U-TREVOR. 19 Apr 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-04-19.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 47D5B4A0-0708-462E-9238-14C58D68B060 238 Out, Loud and Proud Studies show that LGBT youth are 2 to 3 times more likely to commit suicide compared with straight youth. Sometimes life can be overwhelming and you may feel like you're all alone. When you start to feel like you're the only one, just count 20 people that you know and realize that at least 2 out of 20 are likely to be Gay or Lesbian. Since you're one of them...all you need to do now is figure out who is the other one. If you need more help, call the Trevor Helpline at 866-4 -U-TREVOR. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:21 yes You can blame global warming or even changes in the eco-system due to the way we've mistreated our environment. In reality those things have nothing to do with the biblical plague of crickets that's now driving us crazy. The real cause is the fact that Gay people are now allowed to get married in several states in the U.S. Congratulations Iowa! 12 Apr 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-04-12.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast E8FFB877-C02E-40E7-8B5E-9DEF4D4CECBE 237 Plague of Crickets You can blame global warming or even changes in the eco-system due to the way we've mistreated our environment. In reality those things have nothing to do with the biblical plague of crickets that's now driving us crazy. The real cause is the fact that Gay people are now allowed to get married in several states in the U.S. Congratulations Iowa! 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:45 yes If it smells like fish...maybe it is. If it smells like fish, but it's your date...maybe you need to take her to the gynecologist before you take her out to dinner. More good advice such as this...when you download the whole show. You're welcome. 9 Apr 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-04-09.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast C5EB97C5-0793-4C7F-A840-BC12171B91F0 236 Lick It Up If it smells like fish...maybe it is. If it smells like fish, but it's your date...maybe you need to take her to the gynecologist before you take her out to dinner. More good advice such as this...when you download the whole show. You're welcome. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:15 yes Can't get a date? Yes, you can. Mark April 15 on you calendar so that you can troll all the Starbucks in town for Same Sex Kiss Day. If you're just coming out of the closet...or even thinking about coming out...don't worry about how people will know if you're a Lesbian or not. You're probably the last one to know already. 6 Apr 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-04-06.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast C503A262-390E-47F0-A8FF-DBE3A0644C3C 235 Same Sex Kiss Day Can't get a date? Yes, you can. Mark April 15 on you calendar so that you can troll all the Starbucks in town for Same Sex Kiss Day. If you're just coming out of the closet...or even thinking about coming out...don't worry about how people will know if you're a Lesbian or not. You're probably the last one to know already. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:18 yes Our future depends on a greener tomorrow and it's important for each of us to do whatever little bit we can to help preserve our beautiful planet. Of course, if the city you live in bans detergent that cleans properly because it has too many pollutants, then feel free to get in your big car, fill it up with leaded gasoline and travel to a store further away than usual so that you can burn more gas and send more emissions directly into the atmosphere. 3 Apr 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-04-03.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 2CBB0DBA-2192-45F2-A478-0D1A22DBD586 234 Eco Terrorists Our future depends on a greener tomorrow and it's important for each of us to do whatever little bit we can to help preserve our beautiful planet. Of course, if the city you live in bans detergent that cleans properly because it has too many pollutants, then feel free to get in your big car, fill it up with leaded gasoline and travel to a store further away than usual so that you can burn more gas and send more emissions directly into the atmosphere. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:13 yes Every LGBT person has a coming out story and every one is unique and beautiful in its own way. Some are sad, while others are heartwarming and full of joy. At the end of the day, there are not too many people who can say that their coming out story includes a discussion about whether or not their dad gives it to their mom in the butt. 31 Mar 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-03-31.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 3AACE51A-48C2-4D6F-B5CF-847E6B547C5D 233 Coming Out With Linda and Lu Every LGBT person has a coming out story and every one is unique and beautiful in its own way. Some are sad, while others are heartwarming and full of joy. At the end of the day, there are not too many people who can say that their coming out story includes a discussion about whether or not their dad gives it to their mom in the butt. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:26 yes Most massage parlors you come across will be reputable establishments. There are a few, however, that provide those little extras such as the "happy ending". To keep yourself out of harm's way here are some red flags to look for: a lady with a nurse's uniform on who comes running across the parking lot at a strip mall to flag you down, a stripper pole in the middle of the room, or a tube of KY next to the bottle of massage oil. 28 Mar 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-03-28.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 0AC94B63-B1E4-47E4-8850-605FB02A2D6F 232 Happy Ending Most massage parlors you come across will be reputable establishments. There are a few, however, that provide those little extras such as the "happy ending". To keep yourself out of harm's way here are some red flags to look for: a lady with a nurse's uniform on who comes running across the parking lot at a strip mall to flag you down, a stripper pole in the middle of the room, or a tube of KY next to the bottle of massage oil. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:01 yes It's ok to love some inanimate objects. Lots of people love their cars, their purse collection or even their favorite dildo. It only crosses the line when you actually marry the Eifel Tower, have public sex with a carnival ride or inappropriately caress a piece of fence post in your family room in front of your mother. 24 Mar 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-03-24.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast F1CF971C-AB8B-4209-B4F5-F1F0889F572D 231 In Love With My Dildo It's ok to love some inanimate objects. Lots of people love their cars, their purse collection or even their favorite dildo. It only crosses the line when you actually marry the Eifel Tower, have public sex with a carnival ride or inappropriately caress a piece of fence post in your family room in front of your mother. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:55 yes One universal truth stands the test of time for Gays and Lesbians all over the world. The one thing that can put a smile on our faces no matter how angry we are is to hear the Gay anthem "We Are Family" from Sister Sledge. Go to iTunes right now, download the track and then play it at top volume from every speaker in your house. Make sure the windows are open and that you're singing along. 21 Mar 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-03-21.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 9DD61B1D-E4E7-4BE3-A63C-F2E26A89FCE6 230 H8: Still Angry One universal truth stands the test of time for Gays and Lesbians all over the world. The one thing that can put a smile on our faces no matter how angry we are is to hear the Gay anthem "We Are Family" from Sister Sledge. Go to iTunes right now, download the track and then play it at top volume from every speaker in your house. Make sure the windows are open and that you're singing along. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:20 yes It's a guinea pig's wet dream. Living next door to 24 hot girls who all come into heat at the same time. It doesn't really leave a guy a lot of choice, but to take care of business and then sleep for the next two days. Next time you think about getting a pet try Sea Monkeys instead. 18 Mar 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-03-18.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 65A62EF4-CE0F-4C0D-B7B8-C8FD93AF0D27 229 Sea Monkey's and Mouse Dicks It's a guinea pig's wet dream. Living next door to 24 hot girls who all come into heat at the same time. It doesn't really leave a guy a lot of choice, but to take care of business and then sleep for the next two days. Next time you think about getting a pet try Sea Monkeys instead. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:41 yes Back in the day it used to be easy to share naked photos of your friends. All you needed was a cheap camera and a friend at the drugstore who would develop the pictures for you. Now all you have to do is snap it on your cell phone and text it off to all your friends. The only difference is that now you can get arrested and have to register as a sex offender for the rest of your life. 15 Mar 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-03-15.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 4CAA0E19-42C9-450F-8C24-06094DBA77D3 228 Sexting Back in the day it used to be easy to share naked photos of your friends. All you needed was a cheap camera and a friend at the drugstore who would develop the pictures for you. Now all you have to do is snap it on your cell phone and text it off to all your friends. The only difference is that now you can get arrested and have to register as a sex offender for the rest of your life. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:33 yes It only takes one time for you to tune into late night TV with the plethora of infomercials for countless products you've never heard of before to turn you into a believer. All of a sudden your skin can be clearer, your tomatoes will grow even larger, you'll build muscles you didn't even know you had...and you'll be able to shit out every toxin that ever inhabited your body. You've been warned.  Listen at your own risk. 11 Mar 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-03-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 6806282D-4EDB-42A2-A2AF-483E817E17D8 227 Scatology 101 It only takes one time for you to tune into late night TV with the plethora of infomercials for countless products you've never heard of before to turn you into a believer. All of a sudden your skin can be clearer, your tomatoes will grow even larger, you'll build muscles you didn't even know you had...and you'll be able to shit out every toxin that ever inhabited your body. You've been warned.  Listen at your own risk. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 16:53 yes Even if you travel all over the world you'll notice that there are certain signs that we all intuitively know and that transcend language. We all know the blue sign with a traiangular shaped woman that signifies the ladies room or a red hexagon sign that means "stop". Then why is it that more people don't recognize the universal message you're sending out when you put on a pair of headphones when someone sits next to you and seems like they want to talk? 8 Mar 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-03-08.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 4FD63C56-C99C-459A-92D7-DF3FFF61A464 226 Respect Your Elders Even if you travel all over the world you'll notice that there are certain signs that we all intuitively know and that transcend language. We all know the blue sign with a traiangular shaped woman that signifies the ladies room or a red hexagon sign that means "stop". Then why is it that more people don't recognize the universal message you're sending out when you put on a pair of headphones when someone sits next to you and seems like they want to talk? 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:37 yes Karma has an interesting way of making things right in the world.  What's worse is that when you're married, your mate may even have to pay for your evil deeds. It's gonna be a real bitch when you get the payback for that porn collection you stole from your friends when you were younger. 25 Feb 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-02-25.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast F6B2C822-AC9A-4E29-B129-DAE933200B6A 225 Missing Porn Collection Karma has an interesting way of making things right in the world.  What's worse is that when you're married, your mate may even have to pay for your evil deeds. It's gonna be a real bitch when you get the payback for that porn collection you stole from your friends when you were younger. 2homos@2homos.com (2 Homos) lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:00 yes Once again...Craig's List proves that there really is someone for everyone. If you're looking for that perfect girl...the one that let's you treat her like shit, the one who lets you spend all her money, the one that likes it when you leave beer cans and take-out food all over the house until it rots...you'd better hurry up and answer that personals ad. She probably already has a line around the block waiting to take her out on a date. 22 Feb 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-02-22.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast C10D90C0-CD8C-421F-AD83-F5AD3C024253 224 Muddy Doormat Once again...Craig's List proves that there really is someone for everyone. If you're looking for that perfect girl...the one that let's you treat her like shit, the one who lets you spend all her money, the one that likes it when you leave beer cans and take-out food all over the house until it rots...you'd better hurry up and answer that personals ad. She probably already has a line around the block waiting to take her out on a date. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:32 yes The conservatives were right when they said that if we let Gay people get married, the next thing we'll want to do is have sex with our dogs and maybe even marry them. Now we have to take our dog, Lulu, to a therapist so that she can use the stuffed therapeutic dog toy to show the doctor where she's been touched. 18 Feb 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-02-18.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast CF890413-7421-45A9-AB07-D535959CB86D 223 Lulu's Vagina The conservatives were right when they said that if we let Gay people get married, the next thing we'll want to do is have sex with our dogs and maybe even marry them. Now we have to take our dog, Lulu, to a therapist so that she can use the stuffed therapeutic dog toy to show the doctor where she's been touched. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:12 yes On what should be the happiest and romantic day of the year, people can still prove themselves to be insolent, vicious, rude pigs. That's when it's time to break out the big guns and show no mercy at all. Go out shopping with the worst case of gas you've had in years and when the rude bastards come near you...just let it rip in the most silent, but deadly way possible. 14 Feb 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-02-14.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast B47209A2-B1E5-4BB6-8C73-9EDCE2F96E71 222 V.D. Again On what should be the happiest and romantic day of the year, people can still prove themselves to be insolent, vicious, rude pigs. That's when it's time to break out the big guns and show no mercy at all. Go out shopping with the worst case of gas you've had in years and when the rude bastards come near you...just let it rip in the most silent, but deadly way possible. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:59 yes It may be cold outside right now, but summertime is just around the corner. It's not too early to start thinking about long, hot days at the beach and all the fun you'll be having in a few short months. You may want to start planning right now for those lazy days hanging out on the beach blanket playing Tramp Stamp Bingo. 11 Feb 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-02-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 73C63B7E-0A72-4B44-8295-618F6617B537 221 Tramp Stamp Bingo It may be cold outside right now, but summertime is just around the corner. It's not too early to start thinking about long, hot days at the beach and all the fun you'll be having in a few short months. You may want to start planning right now for those lazy days hanging out on the beach blanket playing Tramp Stamp Bingo. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:00 yes With the recession going on in California, one enterprising woman has found a way to make a cool, easy $2 million as the new baby expert on "Oprah". With 14 asses to wipe, 14 mouths to feed and 14 kids to send to college, she's going to need all the help she can get. 8 Feb 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-02-08.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 0E17401E-AB12-4F99-88F6-A5BBB7244E67 220 Eight is Not Enough With the recession going on in California, one enterprising woman has found a way to make a cool, easy $2 million as the new baby expert on "Oprah". With 14 asses to wipe, 14 mouths to feed and 14 kids to send to college, she's going to need all the help she can get. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:38 yes Next time you're thinking about getting that cute new haircut that you saw in a magazine...take a few minutes to ask yourself one very important question. Is it the hair cut that you like or is it the thought of the haircut model between your legs that's really calling out your name? 28 Jan 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-01-28.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast FF1F92EF-B544-4A3F-81EB-5226DC6A1035 219 Dyke-A-Do Next time you're thinking about getting that cute new haircut that you saw in a magazine...take a few minutes to ask yourself one very important question. Is it the hair cut that you like or is it the thought of the haircut model between your legs that's really calling out your name? 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:31 yes Millions of new ideas are born every single day. People with entrepreneurial spirits are always coming up with new and exciting products or business opportunities that could be the next big thing. Of course, they all know someone who is an expert at crushing their dreams right from the start so that their money-making ideas never even have a chance to hatch. 25 Jan 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-01-25.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast B969CC22-DA89-4591-9094-2AE69A6317C4 218 I Vag You Millions of new ideas are born every single day. People with entrepreneurial spirits are always coming up with new and exciting products or business opportunities that could be the next big thing. Of course, they all know someone who is an expert at crushing their dreams right from the start so that their money-making ideas never even have a chance to hatch. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:58 yes If you're going to run for a public office you'll need a platform to run on. You'll need to have a point of view and some important issues to inspire people to vote for you. You have to give the people something to believe in, even if your campaign is all about stopping people from shitting in public. 22 Jan 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-01-22.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 7D0B75F4-DCB1-41F9-AC30-765ECC83E21D 217 Roxanne For Mayor If you're going to run for a public office you'll need a platform to run on. You'll need to have a point of view and some important issues to inspire people to vote for you. You have to give the people something to believe in, even if your campaign is all about stopping people from shitting in public. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:23 yes Lesbians all over the world were outraged last Sunday night to find out that they would have to endure another season of "The L Word" with the vile and insipid Jenny character. The only saving grace is the possibility that we'll get a new Lesbian series with Leisha Hailey as someone's prison bitch. Read all the details of the new series at www.shewired.com. 19 Jan 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-01-19.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast C3CEE354-FD4F-46C9-A13F-B701368FC642 216 Spin Off Lesbians all over the world were outraged last Sunday night to find out that they would have to endure another season of "The L Word" with the vile and insipid Jenny character. The only saving grace is the possibility that we'll get a new Lesbian series with Leisha Hailey as someone's prison bitch. Read all the details of the new series at www.shewired.com. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:04 yes The mother-daughter bond is unique in many ways. Whether she was the one who squeezed you out of her birth canal, the one who brought you up or the one you simply lean on for support, she'll always be "Mom". She's the one who knows exactly how to push your buttons, how to make you feel guilty about almost anything and the one who makes sure that therapists will always have a job. 14 Jan 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-01-14.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 2F059D24-38CE-4BFE-BD31-43CD604D93A5 215 Homo For The Holidays The mother-daughter bond is unique in many ways. Whether she was the one who squeezed you out of her birth canal, the one who brought you up or the one you simply lean on for support, she'll always be "Mom". She's the one who knows exactly how to push your buttons, how to make you feel guilty about almost anything and the one who makes sure that therapists will always have a job. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:09 yes Sometimes we wonder where today's kids went wrong...why they lie, why they have trust issues, or maybe even why they have psychological problems or other trauma in their lives. It never occurs to us that all those lies we told to them when they were growing up might have something to do with it. Instead, we keep propogating the myth of Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and some overweight rabbit that lays eggs. 11 Jan 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-01-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 7E929FEB-48AC-4578-BEFE-13BE192EC99B 214 Little White Lies Sometimes we wonder where today's kids went wrong...why they lie, why they have trust issues, or maybe even why they have psychological problems or other trauma in their lives. It never occurs to us that all those lies we told to them when they were growing up might have something to do with it. Instead, we keep propogating the myth of Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and some overweight rabbit that lays eggs. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:07 yes Studies show that the majority of pedophiles are straight white males. Apparently, straight males also build robots that they can screw and even marry. With all this going on...it's hard to believe that anyone is worried about Gays getting married. 4 Jan 2009 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2009-01-04.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 383A5808-A437-41ED-BAB8-F7997F606BF0 213 Girlfriend For Sale Studies show that the majority of pedophiles are straight white males. Apparently, straight males also build robots that they can screw and even marry. With all this going on...it's hard to believe that anyone is worried about Gays getting married. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:05 yes Some people treat their pets as their children. That means you can never call someone's pet ugly...even if it is. Next time you're pet sitting, make sure you have some compliments ready to go just in case you need them. Here's a handy one to use on just such occasions: "Oh! Your baby has such pretty hair!" 27 Dec 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-12-27.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 7C8B799B-F039-422B-9D3E-1DEE2E273D67 212 Pet Sitting Some people treat their pets as their children. That means you can never call someone's pet ugly...even if it is. Next time you're pet sitting, make sure you have some compliments ready to go just in case you need them. Here's a handy one to use on just such occasions: "Oh! Your baby has such pretty hair!" 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:16 yes Statistics show that more relationships come to an end during the holidays than at any other time of year. This year you can make a difference and save your own relationship by not being a selfish pig. Forget the practical, useful gift that she can use all year. Get her something useless and expensive instead. You're welcome. 23 Dec 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-12-23.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 283E4DE1-E324-44E4-B43D-6466E36017B7 211 The Perfect Gift Statistics show that more relationships come to an end during the holidays than at any other time of year. This year you can make a difference and save your own relationship by not being a selfish pig. Forget the practical, useful gift that she can use all year. Get her something useless and expensive instead. You're welcome. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:54 yes Opinions are like assholes...everyone has one. The funny thing is that we're going to look rather odd walking around with two. That's going to make people talk. 14 Dec 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-12-14.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 7CAE153A-89C7-450F-A03F-A3F37C6C2B16 210 A Difference of Opinion Opinions are like assholes...everyone has one. The funny thing is that we're going to look rather odd walking around with two. That's going to make people talk. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 09:38 yes Becoming a vegan seemed like such a good idea at first. You were going to save the world, end hunger and stop global warming. Next time, instead of being so self-centered and selfish, think about your friends who can't stand going out to dinner with you, who can't ever invite you over for a meal and who have to think of new and exciting ways to serve up Quorn just because you won't eat anything with eyes. 11 Dec 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-12-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 6E0D2324-19A5-4DAA-9048-CC44F2D83139 209 Vegan For a Day Becoming a vegan seemed like such a good idea at first. You were going to save the world, end hunger and stop global warming. Next time, instead of being so self-centered and selfish, think about your friends who can't stand going out to dinner with you, who can't ever invite you over for a meal and who have to think of new and exciting ways to serve up Quorn just because you won't eat anything with eyes. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:10 yes It's off to college and time for your first real Lesbian experience. Make sure you take the time to do your research and studying beforehand so that after the first time you make sure you come away with all A's and head directly to the top of the class. 8 Dec 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-12-08.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 26FF8EB6-875F-42F2-ADB6-8DD656223F2A 208 Exploring is Half the Fun It's off to college and time for your first real Lesbian experience. Make sure you take the time to do your research and studying beforehand so that after the first time you make sure you come away with all A's and head directly to the top of the class. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:14 yes When the enonomy turns sour it's time to exercise those entrepreneurial skills to help make a little extra cash. With eBay it's easy to drum up a little extra cash by selling what you've got...even if it's your virginity. I wish we'd thought of that. 4 Dec 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-12-04.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 0948574A-E197-4EA4-9822-76499E3C8D39 207 Selling Virginity on eBay When the enonomy turns sour it's time to exercise those entrepreneurial skills to help make a little extra cash. With eBay it's easy to drum up a little extra cash by selling what you've got...even if it's your virginity. I wish we'd thought of that. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:12 yes A simple request for advice turns into a math lesson for all. It's a shame that so many Lesbians seem to have missed that day in school the first time around. We'll just have to help tutor the rest of you. Get out your pencils. 1 Dec 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-12-01.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer, podcast 0673E8E2-618B-42DC-AA14-4592DAC86B28 206 The New Bitch Math A simple request for advice turns into a math lesson for all. It's a shame that so many Lesbians seem to have missed that day in school the first time around. We'll just have to help tutor the rest of you. Get out your pencils. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, podcast, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 09:25 yes Nothing says "holiday stress" like having to go to three different stores for groceries on the day before Thanksgiving, with a list you got from someone else, and with items on it that you're not really sure about. The entire Thanksgiving dinner hangs in the balance and depends on whether or not you get the right type of carrots. 28 Nov 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-11-28.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Lesbian+Podcast, Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer E8D0122D-9A90-405B-9D97-F777B662F2C0 205 Bag of Carrots Nothing says "holiday stress" like having to go to three different stores for groceries on the day before Thanksgiving, with a list you got from someone else, and with items on it that you're not really sure about. The entire Thanksgiving dinner hangs in the balance and depends on whether or not you get the right type of carrots. 2 Homos lesbian+podcast, lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:08 yes With the price of airline tickets these days, if you're going to fly you may as well get your money's worth. Insist on on an airline with a full array of inflight services to make your next long trip as comfortable as possible.  If they don't have "dancers" on board...just forget it. 23 Nov 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-11-23.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 290E8E07-7C3A-4942-8AAD-0B9714C0EB3E 204 Airplane With the price of airline tickets these days, if you're going to fly you may as well get your money's worth. Insist on on an airline with a full array of inflight services to make your next long trip as comfortable as possible.  If they don't have "dancers" on board...just forget it. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:09 yes Even if you're not outraged over Prop 8 in California, there are still plenty of good reasons to join the protests. You no longer have to waste your time meeting freaks on the on-line web sites, chat rooms and at bars. You'll find lots of lots attractive Lesbians down at the protests...and they already know they want to get married. 16 Nov 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-11-16.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer C81D2521-758D-425C-86AF-44F00572530F 203 Can't Get a Date? Even if you're not outraged over Prop 8 in California, there are still plenty of good reasons to join the protests. You no longer have to waste your time meeting freaks on the on-line web sites, chat rooms and at bars. You'll find lots of lots attractive Lesbians down at the protests...and they already know they want to get married. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:40 yes Now Lesbians can live forever in the comfort of knowing that they will never have to part with their favorite cats even after they've passed on. By spinning Fluffy's fur into yarn and then knitting a pretty little sweater, they'll be able to wear and stroke their favorite pussy for the rest of their lives. It's the ultimate Lesbian fantasy. 12 Nov 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-11-12.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer D3F2270C-325D-4A83-89F2-5AFB9E362FB1 202 Somebody Call PETA Now Lesbians can live forever in the comfort of knowing that they will never have to part with their favorite cats even after they've passed on. By spinning Fluffy's fur into yarn and then knitting a pretty little sweater, they'll be able to wear and stroke their favorite pussy for the rest of their lives. It's the ultimate Lesbian fantasy. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:00 yes Just because a woman has teeth in her head, it doesn't mean that a man has to wake up with bite marks on his member after a heated night in the hay. The same goes for Lesbians with long nails....as long as she knows how to work those things! Novices need not apply. 9 Nov 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-11-09.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 3D5C39BE-255C-44A7-ACDF-89677C4B6492 201 Bed of Nails Just because a woman has teeth in her head, it doesn't mean that a man has to wake up with bite marks on his member after a heated night in the hay. The same goes for Lesbians with long nails....as long as she knows how to work those things! Novices need not apply. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:00 yes As an American it's time to get up off your lazy ass and vote. Don't do it because it's your civic duty. Don't do it because your vote can change the course of this country for the next four years. Do it because once you're done you can get a free cup of coffee at Starbucks and a free donut at Krispy Kreme. Otherwise...why leave the house at all? 3 Nov 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-11-03.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 33F79485-D0BE-471C-A518-E55106456E87 200 Vote or Else... As an American it's time to get up off your lazy ass and vote. Don't do it because it's your civic duty. Don't do it because your vote can change the course of this country for the next four years. Do it because once you're done you can get a free cup of coffee at Starbucks and a free donut at Krispy Kreme. Otherwise...why leave the house at all? 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:18 yes There's no use in trying to fight it. Once you move in together, nothing either of you have is secret anymore. Not even that secret list of all the exes you've ever slept with in your lifetime. 26 Oct 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-10-26.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 91129287-13E7-41BF-ADF7-516FC9F055DA 199 The Ex Files There's no use in trying to fight it. Once you move in together, nothing either of you have is secret anymore. Not even that secret list of all the exes you've ever slept with in your lifetime. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:32 yes Why just add a little fiber to your diet, when you can get super clean instead with a complete colon detox? Impress your friends by crapping out 12-inch long turds two or more times a day and just say "no" to living with those 15 extra pounds of impacted fecal matter forever. 22 Oct 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-10-22.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 77C50AAA-0B2D-4671-A764-DCC2D85D9B03 198 Super Clean Why just add a little fiber to your diet, when you can get super clean instead with a complete colon detox? Impress your friends by crapping out 12-inch long turds two or more times a day and just say "no" to living with those 15 extra pounds of impacted fecal matter forever. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:46 yes Some White Trash is easy to spot.  It's the way they know how to serve Spam in 25 different dishes, the way they can leave the cigarette ash hanging while they feed the baby, or the fact that a dentist doesn't live anywhere within a 100 mile radius of town. Then there's the kind catch you by surprise by paying the bill at a restaurant and never leaving a tip. 19 Oct 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-10-19.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer BAE24ED8-7942-414D-8D59-C6EE12CCEB11 197 Giving White Trash a Bad Name Some White Trash is easy to spot.  It's the way they know how to serve Spam in 25 different dishes, the way they can leave the cigarette ash hanging while they feed the baby, or the fact that a dentist doesn't live anywhere within a 100 mile radius of town. Then there's the kind catch you by surprise by paying the bill at a restaurant and never leaving a tip. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:58 yes When people get married some couples change one of the last names so that the entire family shares the same name. Other people simply hyphenate both last names together. Then there are those souls who can only find a happy compromise by changing their last names to something altogether different. Meet the Kuntz family. 13 Oct 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-10-13.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 608228C0-CAE7-4922-BCC4-D6214909B765 196 Meet the Kuntz Family When people get married some couples change one of the last names so that the entire family shares the same name. Other people simply hyphenate both last names together. Then there are those souls who can only find a happy compromise by changing their last names to something altogether different. Meet the Kuntz family. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:40 yes Most people only plan to get married once in their lives. So, if you're going to do it, you better make sure you do it right. Be the absolute best bridezilla you can be, even if it means picking chicken out of your teeth with a fake nail while you're getting a pedicure. 8 Oct 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-10-08.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer B2FAD975-5455-40B8-AE43-1412DB456295 195 The MTV Generation Most people only plan to get married once in their lives. So, if you're going to do it, you better make sure you do it right. Be the absolute best bridezilla you can be, even if it means picking chicken out of your teeth with a fake nail while you're getting a pedicure. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:21 yes Now that school is back in session, it might be helpful for all the young Lesbians and baby Dykes to get some good advice about coming out to their new college roommates. How that got to hot sexual fantasies about Sarah Palin, we'll never truly understand. 5 Oct 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-10-05.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 66D43580-E778-4F17-9C9C-A45CD8A2F610 194 Roommates Now that school is back in session, it might be helpful for all the young Lesbians and baby Dykes to get some good advice about coming out to their new college roommates. How that got to hot sexual fantasies about Sarah Palin, we'll never truly understand. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:17 yes If it wasn't enough for the Olympics to keep Lesbians out of the games by dropping Softball as an Olympic sport, now we have more proof that there is a conspiracy of Olympic proportions brewing. The official uniform of Beach Volleyball is now a pair of panties and a bra. What happened to board shorts, a sports bra and lots of hair gel? At least they still have cool sunglasses. 1 Oct 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-10-01.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer F1030560-E42A-4F1A-8DD0-CD2C8DF9C838 193 The Olympics Conspiracy If it wasn't enough for the Olympics to keep Lesbians out of the games by dropping Softball as an Olympic sport, now we have more proof that there is a conspiracy of Olympic proportions brewing. The official uniform of Beach Volleyball is now a pair of panties and a bra. What happened to board shorts, a sports bra and lots of hair gel? At least they still have cool sunglasses. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:00 yes Really? You don't love your body because your dick is too big? If you find yourself with so much time on your hands that you have to worry about not loving your body because your dick is too big, then you certainly have enough time to go out and find someone else who does love it that big. 28 Sep 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-09-28.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 594233AF-C3BC-4882-A4E6-A74A15049996 192 Loving Your Body Really? You don't love your body because your dick is too big? If you find yourself with so much time on your hands that you have to worry about not loving your body because your dick is too big, then you certainly have enough time to go out and find someone else who does love it that big. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:29 yes It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. It doesn't matter if you're taking out a pile of old newspapers, the ex-girlfriend or just the overflowing holiday decorations that are consuming the entire garage...that crap needs to go. We offer some helpful advice on making the chore a little easier. 25 Sep 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-09-25.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 0F34E412-AD24-42B9-A471-148F105627D2 191 Taking Out The Trash It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. It doesn't matter if you're taking out a pile of old newspapers, the ex-girlfriend or just the overflowing holiday decorations that are consuming the entire garage...that crap needs to go. We offer some helpful advice on making the chore a little easier. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:32 yes Our elders lived their lives leaving nothing to waste. When they went out hunting for food they used every single piece of the animal all the way down to the toenails. Next time you think about shaving your pits and letting the remnants go down the drain, think twice about that selfish act and instead donate it to women who have no underarm hair. You'll love yourself for it. 22 Sep 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-09-22.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer E21B1F32-2DA5-46D1-B20F-84BD4B6CD303 190 Pits of Love Our elders lived their lives leaving nothing to waste. When they went out hunting for food they used every single piece of the animal all the way down to the toenails. Next time you think about shaving your pits and letting the remnants go down the drain, think twice about that selfish act and instead donate it to women who have no underarm hair. You'll love yourself for it. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:28 yes It's been over year that we've been talking about it and still nothing has happened. Not one bit of progress has been made to assemble all the basic necessities of an earthquake kit. Obviously, a little temblor last week hasn't provided the necessary motivation either. Perhaps a major holiday where we give earthquake kits to all our loved ones as gifts will help with the kick in the ass we need...but we doubt it. 4 Aug 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-08-04.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 5491AC93-7520-4D1D-BE65-62D0F031311E 189 The Next Big Disaster It's been over year that we've been talking about it and still nothing has happened. Not one bit of progress has been made to assemble all the basic necessities of an earthquake kit. Obviously, a little temblor last week hasn't provided the necessary motivation either. Perhaps a major holiday where we give earthquake kits to all our loved ones as gifts will help with the kick in the ass we need...but we doubt it. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:52 yes Planning a wedding used to be easy. You only had to think about a location, flowers, catering, decorations and which exes to invite. Nowadays you have to think about putting together the perfect prenuptial agreement, too. Or, you can just skip the whole thing and become the typical Lesbian couple that continues to live together after they break up. 31 Jul 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-07-31.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 5DE99839-C7C5-4247-A0CD-BAFBC0129D93 188 The Perfect Prenup Planning a wedding used to be easy. You only had to think about a location, flowers, catering, decorations and which exes to invite. Nowadays you have to think about putting together the perfect prenuptial agreement, too. Or, you can just skip the whole thing and become the typical Lesbian couple that continues to live together after they break up. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 15:21 yes Everybody needs some good advice from time to time. Once again, we're here to help. We don't have any tips on getting yourself a better body. We just have all kinds of ideas to help you be "out" at work. Use this advice at your own risk. 28 Jul 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-07-28.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 5DBBF02C-1F8A-4C04-8CC7-B446F038349A 187 Working Out Advice Everybody needs some good advice from time to time. Once again, we're here to help. We don't have any tips on getting yourself a better body. We just have all kinds of ideas to help you be "out" at work. Use this advice at your own risk. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:49 yes Life in America....where we have certain freedoms and inalienable rights that we all take for granted. In the Declaration of Independence our forefathers were very clear about these things when they unabashadly stated that among our inalienable rights are....Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Getting Laid. 24 Jul 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-07-24.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 0997C301-0F38-4E96-80AA-82E461D4E1A3 186 The Pursuit of Getting Laid Life in America....where we have certain freedoms and inalienable rights that we all take for granted. In the Declaration of Independence our forefathers were very clear about these things when they unabashadly stated that among our inalienable rights are....Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Getting Laid. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:27 yes You already have cramps, you're bleeding like a pig...and you stop by the store to pick up some menstrual supplies. The last thing you need is some crazy Lesbian picking up things out of your shopping cart and telling you what you need and don't need in a maxi pad. 21 Jul 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-07-21.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 620A48C6-EF40-4544-8C31-6BFB167CCCB6 185 A River Runs Through It You already have cramps, you're bleeding like a pig...and you stop by the store to pick up some menstrual supplies. The last thing you need is some crazy Lesbian picking up things out of your shopping cart and telling you what you need and don't need in a maxi pad. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:29 yes When you've been romancing a local restaurant for years and selflessly sharing all your love with them, you feel like your in a relationship. They have a responsibility to you as their loyal partner not to just pack up all their things and leave you in the middle of the night with no forwarding address, no reasons why and no explanations. Like a jilted lover, you'll be nursing a broken heart and wondering what you did wrong for the rest of your life. 18 Jul 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-07-18.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 07D50FB3-8B33-489E-BA32-595E9581B263 184 Eatin Ain't Cheatin When you've been romancing a local restaurant for years and selflessly sharing all your love with them, you feel like your in a relationship. They have a responsibility to you as their loyal partner not to just pack up all their things and leave you in the middle of the night with no forwarding address, no reasons why and no explanations. Like a jilted lover, you'll be nursing a broken heart and wondering what you did wrong for the rest of your life. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:13 yes It's no longer safe to hang out in Lesbian bars late at night. Wild animals are on the loose and they're out stalking their prey. They're looking for young, hot girls that will eventually cost them a lot of money. Keep you eyes open and be on the lookout for...cougars. 13 Jul 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-07-13.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer AE8F5D88-65D8-413B-8022-88175F359FD0 183 Go Cougars! It's no longer safe to hang out in Lesbian bars late at night. Wild animals are on the loose and they're out stalking their prey. They're looking for young, hot girls that will eventually cost them a lot of money. Keep you eyes open and be on the lookout for...cougars. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:28 yes It's hard to resist the overwhelming allure of the supermarket checkout rags on a good day. To make it even harder, they have to put a huge headline on the paper telling you that they're going to give you the scoop on who's gay in Hollywood today. We compare notes and check of our list of who's queer and who's just going through a phase. 9 Jul 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-07-09.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer B0441E50-8191-4195-8D7F-16DF4812B21B 182 Who's Gay Today It's hard to resist the overwhelming allure of the supermarket checkout rags on a good day. To make it even harder, they have to put a huge headline on the paper telling you that they're going to give you the scoop on who's gay in Hollywood today. We compare notes and check of our list of who's queer and who's just going through a phase. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:38 yes We'll all kick the bucket someday. To avoid having your kids sprinkle you all over Disneyland, toss you out into the ocean, wear you as jewelry or snort your ashes, do the responsible thing and make sure you leave explicit instructions about how you want them to deal with your body when you pass. Or, you can just take the chance that you'll spend eternity in some family's home that you don't even know. 6 Jul 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-07-06.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 2A55AB40-9ACD-4FFF-9304-BF765F325C5A 181 Burn Baby Burn We'll all kick the bucket someday. To avoid having your kids sprinkle you all over Disneyland, toss you out into the ocean, wear you as jewelry or snort your ashes, do the responsible thing and make sure you leave explicit instructions about how you want them to deal with your body when you pass. Or, you can just take the chance that you'll spend eternity in some family's home that you don't even know. 2 Homos lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:36 yes A new TV show causes Roxanne to lose touch with reality and fancy herself the young hot Lesbian of her youth. Or, it could just be the initial stages of her mid-life crisis coming on. Virginia realizes it's time for an intervention. 1 Jul 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-07-01.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer CB05FC7E-8572-4141-86AB-0EB165238AA6 180 Fantasy Girls A new TV show causes Roxanne to lose touch with reality and fancy herself the young hot Lesbian of her youth. Or, it could just be the initial stages of her mid-life crisis coming on. Virginia realizes it's time for an intervention. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:02 yes For as hot and steamed up as we were last weekend, you would have thought that the entire cast of the L Word, accompnied by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and the Laker Girls were spending the night at our house. Alas, we were not so lucky. Instead, the power went out right in the middle of the worst heatwave of the summer. 27 Jun 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-06-27.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 17B5CC74-C68C-442C-B2A7-51926468CE57 179 Smokin' Hot For as hot and steamed up as we were last weekend, you would have thought that the entire cast of the L Word, accompnied by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and the Laker Girls were spending the night at our house. Alas, we were not so lucky. Instead, the power went out right in the middle of the worst heatwave of the summer. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 15:45 yes If you can dream it, you can be it. It's never too late to live your life the way you want to live it, and to have the career you've always dreamed of. This time...nobody's gonna hold you back. It's time to live your life and get rich doing it! 24 Jun 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-06-24.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 4EDAFAFB-6580-447D-ABB2-1E596799E63F 178 Think and Grow Rich If you can dream it, you can be it. It's never too late to live your life the way you want to live it, and to have the career you've always dreamed of. This time...nobody's gonna hold you back. It's time to live your life and get rich doing it! 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:33 yes Do your part to support the economy. When that tax rebate check hits your mailbox, head to your nearest democratic or republican national convention and spend money the way it was supposed to be spent...by hiring prostitutes and renting hotel rooms. Good times are guaranteed for all. 20 Jun 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-06-20.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 93EE6CB7-6760-4086-936B-28374073A4DC 177 Boosting the Economy Do your part to support the economy. When that tax rebate check hits your mailbox, head to your nearest democratic or republican national convention and spend money the way it was supposed to be spent...by hiring prostitutes and renting hotel rooms. Good times are guaranteed for all. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 09:25 yes Women come in a variety of unique shapes, sizes and colors, and every one of them is beautiful in her own special way. Of course, there's no harm in trying on a Chic Shaper to make that special way just a little more special. 17 Jun 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-06-17.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer E0B6DE9F-F721-4D45-9503-779118F58E16 176 Chic Shaper Women come in a variety of unique shapes, sizes and colors, and every one of them is beautiful in her own special way. Of course, there's no harm in trying on a Chic Shaper to make that special way just a little more special. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:23 yes All those girls who desperately wanted to make it onto the cheerleading squad in high school, but were just a bit too plump to be accepted by the other mean girls have finally found a place they can call their own. It's called Weight Watchers. Now they have all become meeting leaders so they can jump and yell to pump you up and cheer you on as the pounds fall off. 14 Jun 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-06-14.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt, dyke, homosexual, queer 94F41EC1-EC3D-4C49-B092-D1F12076806D 175 The Biggest Losers All those girls who desperately wanted to make it onto the cheerleading squad in high school, but were just a bit too plump to be accepted by the other mean girls have finally found a place they can call their own. It's called Weight Watchers. Now they have all become meeting leaders so they can jump and yell to pump you up and cheer you on as the pounds fall off. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 16:14 yes Let's not get crazy...it just seems like forever.....but, we're back now. All the rumors about us being dead or having given up are all false. Besides, we already told you that we're too old and lazy to break up. Lord knows the bitch wouldn't ever be able to move all her shit out anyway. 13 Jun 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-06-13.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt A43BC98F-DD25-4289-8279-F30FB46D6B67 174 Not Dead Yet Let's not get crazy...it just seems like forever.....but, we're back now. All the rumors about us being dead or having given up are all false. Besides, we already told you that we're too old and lazy to break up. Lord knows the bitch wouldn't ever be able to move all her shit out anyway. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 07:34 yes For the second time in the last five years the great state of California has made it legal for gay couples to get married. It's time to hide your pets, your young children and your vegetables, because the next thing that will happen is that gay people will want to marry those, too. That is...until next November when the people of this great state try to pass a constitutional amendment to strike it down. 19 May 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-05-19.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt F99EDCB9-056B-4959-995E-82AFD5A594B2 173 Girl Scouting The Girl Scouts...teaching young women everywhere how to swim, how to sleep in large tents with other women, how to sing folk songs around the campfire on an acoustic guitar, how to shower out in the open with other girls...and how to do whatever it takes to sell more than 17 thousand boxes of cookies in the grocery store parking lot. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:44 yes For the second time in the last five years the great state of California has made it legal for gay couples to get married. It's time to hide your pets, your young children and your vegetables, because the next thing that will happen is that gay people will want to marry those, too. That is...until next November when the people of this great state try to pass a constitutional amendment to strike it down. 16 May 2008 14:53:59 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-05-16.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 7E3C042C-E8BB-4049-9EEF-51EE5B73F915 172 Shotgun Wedding For the second time in the last five years the great state of California has made it legal for gay couples to get married. It's time to hide your pets, your young children and your vegetables, because the next thing that will happen is that gay people will want to marry those, too. That is...until next November when the people of this great state try to pass a constitutional amendment to strike it down. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 12:05 yes It must be some kind of cruel joke in the universe when there are beautiful young ladies who are as flat as an ironing board and then there are grown men with torpedo tit man boobs all living on the same planet. At least we now have a name for it....moobies. 7 May 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-05-07.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 0E7D3B57-01FF-41EB-AB05-03B43F74146E 171 Man Boobs It must be some kind of cruel joke in the universe when there are beautiful young ladies who are as flat as an ironing board and then there are grown men with torpedo tit man boobs all living on the same planet. At least we now have a name for it....moobies. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:48 yes New at Target this season...Garanimals for office decorating. All you do is match the animal shapes on the tags of all the office products you need and you won't have to worry about color schemes and whether or not things match ever again. The Office Garanimals collection includes everything from staplers, office chairs, wall art, area rugs, to conference tables. 4 May 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-05-04.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt FDC1D8C6-BF82-41E3-A1F9-2236CBEFB5DD 170 Office Space New at Target this season...Garanimals for office decorating. All you do is match the animal shapes on the tags of all the office products you need and you won't have to worry about color schemes and whether or not things match ever again. The Office Garanimals collection includes everything from staplers, office chairs, wall art, area rugs, to conference tables. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:12 yes Should you have multiple wives or just get whores...it's a tough choice. Sister wives are there whenever you need them, they take care of the kids all day, but then you have to deal with all of them PMS'ing at the same time. Whores come over only whenever you need them, you pay them only for the time they're with you, but you always take the risk of picking up a new STD when they come over. Either way...it's going to cost you a lot of money. 29 Apr 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-04-29.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt BA349BE3-2FCE-4E51-96A7-5E0646D5C182 169 Sister Wives Should you have multiple wives or just get whores...it's a tough choice. Sister wives are there whenever you need them, they take care of the kids all day, but then you have to deal with all of them PMS'ing at the same time. Whores come over only whenever you need them, you pay them only for the time they're with you, but you always take the risk of picking up a new STD when they come over. Either way...it's going to cost you a lot of money. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:02 yes Sorry guys...this one had to be done. All the men may want to tune out right now as we talk about the collateral damage that takes place from having to menstruate every month. Think of all the good Lesbians could do in the world if we didn't have to spend money on period supplies, fill up landfills with used tampons and pads, and spread PMS hate and anger across the planet once a month. 16 Apr 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-04-26.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt DE5E1FAE-076F-4776-93F1-19827376637B 168 Aunt Flow Sorry guys...this one had to be done. All the men may want to tune out right now as we talk about the collateral damage that takes place from having to menstruate every month. Think of all the good Lesbians could do in the world if we didn't have to spend money on period supplies, fill up landfills with used tampons and pads, and spread PMS hate and anger across the planet once a month. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:51 yes Physicians in ancient India were doing reconstructive work using skin grafts as early as the 8th century BC. In 1855, English inventor, Alexander Parkes, created the earliest form of plastic. In 2006, nearly 11 million plastic surgeries were performed in the U.S. alone. One can only imagine how many tries it took to get the nipple to look just right after plastic breast implants. 16 Apr 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-04-16.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 346688F6-11A2-4F70-A46E-C65D4A216CFE 167 The Miracle of Plastic Physicians in ancient India were doing reconstructive work using skin grafts as early as the 8th century BC. In 1855, English inventor, Alexander Parkes, created the earliest form of plastic. In 2006, nearly 11 million plastic surgeries were performed in the U.S. alone. One can only imagine how many tries it took to get the nipple to look just right after plastic breast implants. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:41 yes Karma is a serious bitch. It's nature's way of making sure that no bad deed goes unpunished and making sure that everything gets set right in the world so that things are always in balance. Unfortunately, she also has a wicked sense of humor...and she likes to laugh. 9 Apr 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-04-09.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 96B5FD5F-D170-446E-AEEF-CB52E751B0BB 166 Bad Karma Karma is a serious bitch. It's nature's way of making sure that no bad deed goes unpunished and making sure that everything gets set right in the world so that things are always in balance. Unfortunately, she also has a wicked sense of humor...and she likes to laugh. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 17:27 yes They may not want us to get married, they may not want us to teach their children, they may not want us to live in their neighborhood or go to their churches. But, when it comes to collecting taxes, you can be sure that the American government doesn't care what you believe in or who you choose to spend your life with. They still want as much of your money as they can possibly get on April 15. 6 Apr 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-04-06.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 30362F58-2006-4199-8910-25FDFB2A3D43 165 The Tax Man They may not want us to get married, they may not want us to teach their children, they may not want us to live in their neighborhood or go to their churches. But, when it comes to collecting taxes, you can be sure that the American government doesn't care what you believe in or who you choose to spend your life with. They still want as much of your money as they can possibly get on April 15. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:45 yes There are moments in life that take you by surprise, that take your breath away, and make you realize something about yourself that you never knew before. It's those moments in life that make us realize that maybe we're not as adventurous and open-minded as we thought we were. When it comes right down to it...we're really just plain vanilla after all. 3 Apr 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-04-03.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt F90EF2FB-DA18-4C2D-9540-364B9056956E 164 Splosh! There are moments in life that take you by surprise, that take your breath away, and make you realize something about yourself that you never knew before. It's those moments in life that make us realize that maybe we're not as adventurous and open-minded as we thought we were. When it comes right down to it...we're really just plain vanilla after all. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:41 yes Some say that the third time is lucky. Others say that bad luck comes in threes. If you're planning to travel to Las Vegas or anywhere in Southern California in the next couple of months you may want to re-think your plans. If we buy tickets in our third attempt to try and break the hex to see "Mamma Mia", it's possible that there may be a natural disaster of monumental proportions just to make sure we don't see it. 30 Mar 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-03-30.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 47DCAE79-5ADF-4FDE-A780-EB455573385B 163 Three Strikes Some say that the third time is lucky. Others say that bad luck comes in threes. If you're planning to travel to Las Vegas or anywhere in Southern California in the next couple of months you may want to re-think your plans. If we buy tickets in our third attempt to try and break the hex to see "Mamma Mia", it's possible that there may be a natural disaster of monumental proportions just to make sure we don't see it. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 09:27 yes If it got lost...it's going to be found. Somebody, somewhere will pick up the stripper heel that you left by the side of the road. Even if you think you lost your period forever, you can still get pregnant. There is only one simple exception to this golden rule, however, and that's your virginity. That's never coming back. 24 Mar 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-03-24.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 4CF631B7-5F63-4E3D-994A-C7FCCDC2F83E 162 Lost and Found If it got lost...it's going to be found. Somebody, somewhere will pick up the stripper heel that you left by the side of the road. Even if you think you lost your period forever, you can still get pregnant. There is only one simple exception to this golden rule, however, and that's your virginity. That's never coming back. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 11:09 yes Next year when February 13 rolls around, don't forget to honor that special woman in your life. She's the one who really understands you, she pays attention to you, she knows exactly what you need even before you do and she knows how to make you feel good. Best of all, she's the one who will actually let you try all those funky positions your wife just rolls her eyes about. Take time out to show her how special she really is by buying her flowers on Mistress Day at the same time you buy your wife flowers for Valentine's Day. 21 Mar 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-03-21.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 1C252A5A-78E8-4272-9482-9E7004ABFB11 161 Happy Mistress Day Next year when February 13 rolls around, don't forget to honor that special woman in your life. She's the one who really understands you, she pays attention to you, she knows exactly what you need even before you do and she knows how to make you feel good. Best of all, she's the one who will actually let you try all those funky positions your wife just rolls her eyes about. Take time out to show her how special she really is by buying her flowers on Mistress Day at the same time you buy your wife flowers for Valentine's Day. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 09:47 yes When Eileen Chaiken decides to retire "The L Word" after next season, we're ready to step in and take over. We've already assembled a cast of writers...and we know exactly what the next plot lines will be. Once again, we're there when you need us. 18 Mar 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-03-18.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 50DB2496-F47C-4706-A1E1-FA53D9A3CF2D 160 What the "L" When Eileen Chaiken decides to retire "The L Word" after next season, we're ready to step in and take over. We've already assembled a cast of writers...and we know exactly what the next plot lines will be. Once again, we're there when you need us. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 14:28 yes It could happen... Two ordinary Lesbians might just wind up with the girliest little girl on the planet. She may be into lipstick, dresses, heels and everything "princess". The worst part is that she may not even want blue jeans and fleece to ever adorn her body! Not to worry...we have the way to balance out the universe once again and put the world back at peace. It's Lesbian Barbie. 15 Mar 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-03-15.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 13803321-32F1-4816-9983-271C50456C96 159 Lesbian Barbie It could happen... Two ordinary Lesbians might just wind up with the girliest little girl on the planet. She may be into lipstick, dresses, heels and everything "princess". The worst part is that she may not even want blue jeans and fleece to ever adorn her body! Not to worry...we have the way to balance out the universe once again and put the world back at peace. It's Lesbian Barbie. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:11 yes Nancy's mom hears about (but does not hear) the show about the Cosmo magazine and finds us another magazine that any normal, young Lesbian would be interested in reviewing. It brings back memories of childhood. 9 Mar 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-03-09.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt AA1DEFCB-918B-4197-B61D-E9575DBBD831 158 Where's Waldo Nancy's mom hears about (but does not hear) the show about the Cosmo magazine and finds us another magazine that any normal, young Lesbian would be interested in reviewing. It brings back memories of childhood. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 10:31 yes Growing up, mother always told you it was a good thing to share. If you had something that somebody else didn't have, it was a virtue to give a little to someone else. The concept she never really got around to explaining, however, was about oversharing. That's just one we had to figure out for ourselves. 6 Mar 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-03-06.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 79280238-D91B-485B-B018-4C3906749357 157 Over Share Growing up, mother always told you it was a good thing to share. If you had something that somebody else didn't have, it was a virtue to give a little to someone else. The concept she never really got around to explaining, however, was about oversharing. That's just one we had to figure out for ourselves. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:14 yes The Cosmo magazine that hasn't left the house yet become an endless source of fascination and irritation for Roxanne as she takes a look at some of the other articles. For Virginia it sparks the idea for a new money-making adventure - publishing the new Lesbian magazine...Lesbopolitan. 27 Feb 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-02-27.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 1A48A793-5166-40BE-85BF-5470E7D05E71 156 Lesbopolitan The Cosmo magazine that hasn't left the house yet become an endless source of fascination and irritation for Roxanne as she takes a look at some of the other articles. For Virginia it sparks the idea for a new money-making adventure - publishing the new Lesbian magazine...Lesbopolitan. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:45 yes Fact: Most straight women have never seen a Va-Jay-Jay ever...including their own. That's why they need Cosmopolitan magazine to tell them all about it. Of course, they can just save the $4.95 and talk to a Lesbian instead. 24 Feb 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-02-24.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 2EF2E2E1-DC54-4667-9DA4-CB1848AA4B73 155 Lesbians Know Va-Jay-Jays Fact: Most straight women have never seen a Va-Jay-Jay ever...including their own. That's why they need Cosmopolitan magazine to tell them all about it. Of course, they can just save the $4.95 and talk to a Lesbian instead. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 13:46 yes As Lesbians, we feel that it's our birthright to demand...and get...good, hard-rocking Melissa Etheridge songs. We'll do whatever it takes to get Melissa into that angry, depressed place that all those good songs come from. We'll even take the time to slip some lacy g-string underwear laced with perfume into Tammy's car if that's what's required. 21 Feb 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-02-21.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 963DFFB0-6DF9-4C5C-A9FC-2671BB73F163 154 Sweet Melissa As Lesbians, we feel that it's our birthright to demand...and get...good, hard-rocking Melissa Etheridge songs. We'll do whatever it takes to get Melissa into that angry, depressed place that all those good songs come from. We'll even take the time to slip some lacy g-string underwear laced with perfume into Tammy's car if that's what's required. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homosexual, homos, 2homos 09:46 yes A special hand-picked card from the grocery store, $2.95. Gas to drive home early from work, $4.00. A romantic dinner at the pizza place down the street, $16. The sincere look of love and appreciation in my soul-mate's eyes when she unwraps a video game for Valentine's day...priceless. Ad on Craig's List to get a new girlfriend, free. 18 Feb 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-02-18.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt A30DCA06-6375-4D6B-A0DC-653F380D54A3 153 Valentine to Remember A special hand-picked card from the grocery store, $2.95. Gas to drive home early from work, $4.00. A romantic dinner at the pizza place down the street, $16. The sincere look of love and appreciation in my soul-mate's eyes when she unwraps a video game for Valentine's day...priceless. Ad on Craig's List to get a new girlfriend, free. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 12:45 yes It's election time in the States. This year, get out and make your vote count (unlike Roxanne's). It gives you the right to go out and bitch about everything you don't like. 15 Feb 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-02-15.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt DED4D902-CC27-45E6-839F-5E35BBC4F46F 152 Get Out & Vote It's election time in the States. This year, get out and make your vote count (unlike Roxanne's). It gives you the right to go out and bitch about everything you don't like. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 08:03 yes The days of using Chapstick as lipstick and hanging around the Rite-Aid counter waiting for someone to help you learn how to apply makeup are over. Roxanne tells all as she explains how she learned to put on makeup and primp like a girl. So, tuck in that t-shirt, put on a belt and find out how to become an instant femme. 11 Feb 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-02-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 30043083-69D7-4600-B1C9-EE500A6E6504 151 Instant Femme The days of using Chapstick as lipstick and hanging around the Rite-Aid counter waiting for someone to help you learn how to apply makeup are over. Roxanne tells all as she explains how she learned to put on makeup and primp like a girl. So, tuck in that t-shirt, put on a belt and find out how to become an instant femme. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 09:25 yes When you go out on a little shopping excursion, the last thing you expect to see is a minefield of dog crap throughout the store. It's the quickest way to turn a delightful afternoon into a skid mark hazard with the potential for a deadly slip and fall. 7 Feb 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-02-07.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt B97186B8-98DD-4FD6-ADEF-7CB975E100B4 150 Skid Marks When you go out on a little shopping excursion, the last thing you expect to see is a minefield of dog crap throughout the store. It's the quickest way to turn a delightful afternoon into a skid mark hazard with the potential for a deadly slip and fall. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 12:21 yes People are dirty, filthy pigs. They go to the bathroom to take a crap, they don't wash their hands, they bake cakes and make food for potlucks, and then they bring it in to work to share with their co-workers. All the while they're busy spreading around infectious diseases and handing out viruses like it's candy. 4 Feb 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-02-04.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 7BAE0663-0A3E-48E3-A893-07F7CE676A6E 149 Super Bug People are dirty, filthy pigs. They go to the bathroom to take a crap, they don't wash their hands, they bake cakes and make food for potlucks, and then they bring it in to work to share with their co-workers. All the while they're busy spreading around infectious diseases and handing out viruses like it's candy. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 11:36 yes We take a departure from our normal routine to save the world from from tripping out at work and growing ox balls because you bought the wrong energy drink. We've done all the hard work for you and wound up staying up all night as a result, so that you don't have to waste your hard-earned two dollars and fifty cents on something that looks, tastes and smells like piss. 1 Feb 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-02-01.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt FBAFFB98-A579-4E27-BB68-241447F3A5C7 148 High Energy Taste Test We take a departure from our normal routine to save the world from from tripping out at work and growing ox balls because you bought the wrong energy drink. We've done all the hard work for you and wound up staying up all night as a result, so that you don't have to waste your hard-earned two dollars and fifty cents on something that looks, tastes and smells like piss. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 14:28 yes A little nip here... a little tuck there. With the miracle of modern medicine we'll soon be able to live in a time where you can pick out a picture from a book in a doctor's office and leave with Lindsay Lohan's va-jay-jay as your very own. 29 Jan 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-01-29.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbtedy 21D6BCF8-BE20-49B4-A961-C32BB2689252 147 Re-Vaguvination A little nip here... a little tuck there. With the miracle of modern medicine we'll soon be able to live in a time where you can pick out a picture from a book in a doctor's office and leave with Lindsay Lohan's va-jay-jay as your very own. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 12:42 yes With the Hollywood writers stike in full effect, there's no better way to fill up all that dead TV air time than to take a bunch of D-list celebrities, throw them into rehab and point a camera at them. Don't forget the gallon sized Ziploc bags. 26 Jan 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-01-26.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy 8671B6D4-6C4F-4608-B4EF-E1B39B4298FD 146 Rehab With The D-List With the Hollywood writers stike in full effect, there's no better way to fill up all that dead TV air time than to take a bunch of D-list celebrities, throw them into rehab and point a camera at them. Don't forget the gallon sized Ziploc bags. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 11:59 yes After a double dose of PMS, we're back with something we're really good at...advice! If there is one thing that is absolutely certain in this life, it's that we have an opinion about everything. We're also happy to share it...whether you asked for it or not. 23 Jan 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-01-23.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt C30F55EF-0695-4C7F-8B62-F43761010E11 145 Dear Homos After a double dose of PMS, we're back with something we're really good at...advice! If there is one thing that is absolutely certain in this life, it's that we have an opinion about everything. We're also happy to share it...whether you asked for it or not. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 10:29 yes Going to the post office is not that complicated. You only have a few different options of things you can do there. You can send a letter, pick up some mail or buy some stamps. You would think that most people probably know what they're going there before they even get to the post office. Yet people still get up to the window and stand there staring at the post office clerk wondering what to do, while the line gets longer and longer and people get angrier and angrier...including the post office workers. 17 Jan 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-01-17.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt C65746E2-FF61-4D45-9A79-3535455077C8 144 Going Postal Going to the post office is not that complicated. You only have a few different options of things you can do there. You can send a letter, pick up some mail or buy some stamps. You would think that most people probably know what they're going there before they even get to the post office. Yet people still get up to the window and stand there staring at the post office clerk wondering what to do, while the line gets longer and longer and people get angrier and angrier...including the post office workers. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 13:17 yes It's almost tax time. That means that you need to start pulling out all your receipts and paperwork, desperately trying to find enough deductions and tax credits so that you don't go bankrupt on April 15. This year, rather than giving all your hard-earned money to the tax man, why not start you own "church" instead? 14 Jan 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-01-14.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 5B46746D-926B-44C9-8385-73A4E4F4669B 143 Your Very Own Cult It's almost tax time. That means that you need to start pulling out all your receipts and paperwork, desperately trying to find enough deductions and tax credits so that you don't go bankrupt on April 15. This year, rather than giving all your hard-earned money to the tax man, why not start you own "church" instead? 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 16:32 yes Red flags dot the hillside, blowing and flapping madly in the wind. Still, we pay no heed and rush right into relationships with all kinds of psychos. If only we had someone to show us the warning signs to look for before we make bad dating choices.... Well, now you do. We've already made all those bad choices and lived to tell about it. 11 Jan 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-01-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 44D3382A-BFAD-4C64-AA3B-685FD3105C7C 142 Red Flag Warning Red flags dot the hillside, blowing and flapping madly in the wind. Still, we pay no heed and rush right into relationships with all kinds of psychos. If only we had someone to show us the warning signs to look for before we make bad dating choices.... Well, now you do. We've already made all those bad choices and lived to tell about it. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 19:53 yes Flirting makes you smarter. Or, at least you'll seem smarter all of a sudden next to the person you're flirting with. After all, there's really not enough room for too many brain cells in that little head that they're doing the thinking with now. 8 Jan 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-01-08.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt BF884B24-71F8-402B-8A62-7950FC3FF7C2 141 Flirt Flirting makes you smarter. Or, at least you'll seem smarter all of a sudden next to the person you're flirting with. After all, there's really not enough room for too many brain cells in that little head that they're doing the thinking with now. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 09:35 yes It could just be an ordinary trip to the doctor's office for a checkup, or it could be your ultimate Penthouse Forum fantasy. Either way, don't forget to schedule your annual mammogram this year. 5 Jan 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-01-05.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 64B50159-9219-4DB2-A65D-B0D9B2BFEFF1 140 Not Quite a Handful It could just be an ordinary trip to the doctor's office for a checkup, or it could be your ultimate Penthouse Forum fantasy. Either way, don't forget to schedule your annual mammogram this year. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 12:11 yes Welcome to a brand new year. As we ring out the old and bring in the new, it's the perfect time to make a whole bunch of New Year's resolutions that you'll never be able to keep. Well...it was a good thought anyway. 2 Jan 2008 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2008-01-02.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt BEB86943-C6C3-4AFF-89F1-BFFE6BB8520C 139 Brand New You in 2008 Welcome to a brand new year. As we ring out the old and bring in the new, it's the perfect time to make a whole bunch of New Year's resolutions that you'll never be able to keep. Well...it was a good thought anyway. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 15:09 yes As the year 2007 winds down, everyone will have a list of the best movies, the best books, the best music, the best things they ate...and hundreds of other things they liked and diskliked about this year. We'll take you through a much more practical list instead. It's our list of the biggest pet peeves of all time. 29 Dec 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-12-29.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 38ECA7CC-4497-4EBA-B7F6-A9C494A40B55 138 Pet Peeves As the year 2007 winds down, everyone will have a list of the best movies, the best books, the best music, the best things they ate...and hundreds of other things they liked and diskliked about this year. We'll take you through a much more practical list instead. It's our list of the biggest pet peeves of all time. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 00:00 yes It may be hard to believe that Lesbian couples would break up at all, especially since you knew you would marry her and be together forever after the second date...or maybe the third date for the committment phobic. Stranger things have certainly happened, so it's best to be prepared in advance...just in case. You want to be ready if you decide to break into her house to get back all the gifts you ever gave her, or if you just simply want to drain the joint bank account ahead of time. 26 Dec 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-12-26.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 4A8E68F0-D64A-4244-9DE0-F6E2994C3ED0 137 Lesbian Breakup Etiquette It may be hard to believe that Lesbian couples would break up at all, especially since you knew you would marry her and be together forever after the second date...or maybe the third date for the committment phobic. Stranger things have certainly happened, so it's best to be prepared in advance...just in case. You want to be ready if you decide to break into her house to get back all the gifts you ever gave her, or if you just simply want to drain the joint bank account ahead of time. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 00:00 yes Straight Men: 1, Lesbians: 0. We just can't help ourselves in doing one more show about Tila Tequila and "Shot at Love" after the season finale. If there's one thing we learned after wasting that much of our lives in front of the TV, it's....ladies, please, no white shoes after Labor Day. No good can come of it. 23 Dec 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-12-23.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt A5C91B86-EF67-4498-853D-F02FC2E5C0A8 136 Another Shot at Tila Straight Men: 1, Lesbians: 0. We just can't help ourselves in doing one more show about Tila Tequila and "Shot at Love" after the season finale. If there's one thing we learned after wasting that much of our lives in front of the TV, it's....ladies, please, no white shoes after Labor Day. No good can come of it. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 00:00 yes This year when the boss asks you to complete a self-evaluation for your annual performance review so that they can figure out what you've been doing all year, make sure you let them know that you've been the Employee of the Year. Be sure to rate yourself "excellent" in every category. Who cares if you've been late to work almost every day, you leave early, you don't get anything done on time and you're generally a pain in the ass to everyone in the office. Make sure that that the hour you spend completing your review is worth the hour of your life you'll never get back by wasting your time on this crap. 19 Dec 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-12-19.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 68EAEA12-8C52-432D-A049-2890206082D7 135 Employee of the Year This year when the boss asks you to complete a self-evaluation for your annual performance review so that they can figure out what you've been doing all year, make sure you let them know that you've been the Employee of the Year. Be sure to rate yourself "excellent" in every category. Who cares if you've been late to work almost every day, you leave early, you don't get anything done on time and you're generally a pain in the ass to everyone in the office. Make sure that that the hour you spend completing your review is worth the hour of your life you'll never get back by wasting your time on this crap. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 13:34 yes Back when we were young kids, mom would always warn us not to touch sharp or dangerous objects. Of course, we would ignore her, get hurt and then cry until she gave us a lollipop to make it all feel better. Now that we're adults, it's clear that we haven't learned anything at all. We still ignore mother's stern warnings and can't stop ourselves from playing with sharp, shiny objects in the kitchen. It's a good thing there's a hospital not too far away. 16 Dec 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-12-16.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 4EBB6D74-F407-46A7-9B46-C6D04723E4FD 134 Knife Snob Back when we were young kids, mom would always warn us not to touch sharp or dangerous objects. Of course, we would ignore her, get hurt and then cry until she gave us a lollipop to make it all feel better. Now that we're adults, it's clear that we haven't learned anything at all. We still ignore mother's stern warnings and can't stop ourselves from playing with sharp, shiny objects in the kitchen. It's a good thing there's a hospital not too far away. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 12:16 yes Everyone has bad breath once in a while. We've all had woken up in the morning and had our breath smell like ass...maybe you had too much garlic at lunch...or maybe you just smoke cigarettes. But when you have to drive down the freeway in the middle of winter with the car window wide open and your head hanging out like a dog because the person next to you has insane halitosis...that's just ridiculous. 13 Dec 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-12-13.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt ED92517F-A574-4904-9FC2-D9DFC29C56C0 133 They Breathe Among Us Everyone has bad breath once in a while. We've all had woken up in the morning and had our breath smell like ass...maybe you had too much garlic at lunch...or maybe you just smoke cigarettes. But when you have to drive down the freeway in the middle of winter with the car window wide open and your head hanging out like a dog because the person next to you has insane halitosis...that's just ridiculous. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 11:57 yes Leave it to Hallmark to make sure that you always have a reason to buy cards and gifts in any month of the year, for almost anyone you know, for almost any reason at all. When "Bosses Day" comes around, make sure you run out and get a gift for someone who makes eight times as much money as you do...and who you probably don't like anyway. 9 Dec 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-12-09.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 7A123311-3229-4280-A98B-4C403BCD4E9C 132 Fake Holidays Leave it to Hallmark to make sure that you always have a reason to buy cards and gifts in any month of the year, for almost anyone you know, for almost any reason at all. When "Bosses Day" comes around, make sure you run out and get a gift for someone who makes eight times as much money as you do...and who you probably don't like anyway. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 10:48 yes God loves Lesbians, but he doesn't like rock music. In fact, simply listening to rock music has been proven to make people display homosexual tendencies. Not to worry... we'll take you through the official list of bands whose music you should immediately go out and buy so that you can stop other people from listening to them and having them become homosexuals, too. 6 Dec 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-12-06.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt AA378DC2-E984-4B77-ABC1-2C065F90B700 131 God Loves Lesbians God loves Lesbians, but he doesn't like rock music. In fact, simply listening to rock music has been proven to make people display homosexual tendencies. Not to worry... we'll take you through the official list of bands whose music you should immediately go out and buy so that you can stop other people from listening to them and having them become homosexuals, too. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 11:47 yes It's time for another relaxing evening in front of the TV. Well...that is until "Something About Miriam" comes on. It's kind of like "The Bachelorette"....except for the special surprise that Miram has in store for the unknowing bachelors. As usual, Roxanne has an opinion. 3 Dec 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-12-03.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 1B89E61C-BDDE-46AF-9F01-B0602267A09B 130 The Crying Game Redux It's time for another relaxing evening in front of the TV. Well...that is until "Something About Miriam" comes on. It's kind of like "The Bachelorette"....except for the special surprise that Miram has in store for the unknowing bachelors. As usual, Roxanne has an opinion. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 11:35 yes With the holiday season upon us, you may be wrapped up in trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on your list. This year, instead of getting a gift card for the local pharmacy for the whore on your list to help her clear up her latest infection, why not let us help you instead. We'll help you pick out the perfect gift for everyone on your list...no matter if they've been naughty or nice this year. 30 Nov 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-11-30.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 818B2E75-E044-45BD-80B6-37DC6C5472A7 129 Better to Give Than Receive With the holiday season upon us, you may be wrapped up in trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on your list. This year, instead of getting a gift card for the local pharmacy for the whore on your list to help her clear up her latest infection, why not let us help you instead. We'll help you pick out the perfect gift for everyone on your list...no matter if they've been naughty or nice this year. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 12:13 yes Now that the market is flooded with relatively low-priced GPS navigational systems, there is no excuse for anyone to get lost while driving ever again. But, there is one important thing missing. It's the attitude you get from your navigator when you make a wrong turn or head the wrong way. If someone can create a downloadable set of new voices with some attitude and personality for the GPS, I'm ready to download it from i-Tunes right now. 27 Nov 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-11-27.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt DF973D73-E289-4629-AFCC-E1BF4A94AE69 128 Driving Miss Maggie Now that the market is flooded with relatively low-priced GPS navigational systems, there is no excuse for anyone to get lost while driving ever again. But, there is one important thing missing. It's the attitude you get from your navigator when you make a wrong turn or head the wrong way. If someone can create a downloadable set of new voices with some attitude and personality for the GPS, I'm ready to download it from i-Tunes right now. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 13:11 yes Freedoms of being an American: When you turn 16 you are allowed to drive. At 18 you are allowed to vote. Turn 21 and you can drink alcohol (legally). We have the freedom of the press, freedom to elect an idiot as president and the freedom of religion. But, now the government is trying to take away the basic freedom to masturbate. We call "bullshit". 24 Nov 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-11-24.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 5DDDF68D-D916-4CAE-AB7B-AC53ED7BB03C 127 Everybody Masturbates Freedoms of being an American: When you turn 16 you are allowed to drive. At 18 you are allowed to vote. Turn 21 and you can drink alcohol (legally). We have the freedom of the press, freedom to elect an idiot as president and the freedom of religion. But, now the government is trying to take away the basic freedom to masturbate. We call "bullshit". 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 09:01 yes So you have your wife, two dogs and house. What else could you possibly need? Hmmm. Oh yeah, the 2.5 kids to make the perfect family. So, now Lesbians can go to the sperm bank and make a withdrawal or they can adopt to make their family complete. Just add kids and stir like crazy for instant family madness. 22 Nov 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-11-22.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt E01862C3-4FCA-4628-940D-1DAE57D176FD 126 Lesbian Baby Boom So you have your wife, two dogs and house. What else could you possibly need? Hmmm. Oh yeah, the 2.5 kids to make the perfect family. So, now Lesbians can go to the sperm bank and make a withdrawal or they can adopt to make their family complete. Just add kids and stir like crazy for instant family madness. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 13:00 yes When one of the dogs jumps up off a chair like a red-hot poker has been shoved up his ass, it can mean only one thing. It must be time to wash the dirty dogs. It's almost as traumatic for the humans as it is for the dogs. 18 Nov 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-11-18.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 74889B6D-3488-4000-9555-5E5BC91D698F 125 Dirty Dogs When one of the dogs jumps up off a chair like a red-hot poker has been shoved up his ass, it can mean only one thing. It must be time to wash the dirty dogs. It's almost as traumatic for the humans as it is for the dogs. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 08:14 yes You're all tucked in and ready for a good night's sleep, when suddenly...you realize you're not alone. A colony of bed bugs has invaded you're mattress and they don't have plans to leave any time soon. You'll have to burn the house down to get rid of those disgusting, free-loading, good for nothing bastards. 14 Nov 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-11-14.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 8AE330D6-F563-4099-9360-1FAB5718DB6D 124 Sleeping Around You're all tucked in and ready for a good night's sleep, when suddenly...you realize you're not alone. A colony of bed bugs has invaded you're mattress and they don't have plans to leave any time soon. You'll have to burn the house down to get rid of those disgusting, free-loading, good for nothing bastards. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 10:40 yes It may only be November 11, but if your holiday shopping is not done by next weekend, you are in big touble. There will be no more messing around, no more waiting to the last minute and no more excuses. You've had 10 months already to get it done. That's it. 11 Nov 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-11-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 465FF636-28ED-46F6-8B5F-D23E812D0EA5 123 Holiday Shopping Mania It may only be November 11, but if your holiday shopping is not done by next weekend, you are in big touble. There will be no more messing around, no more waiting to the last minute and no more excuses. You've had 10 months already to get it done. That's it. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 09:10 yes Crazy has it's own special way of reaching out to let you know it's there. It's more than just a look or a feeling...it's something far deeper and more insidious that grips you and pulls you in. It's a good thing Virginia's in a relationship, because even on TV, she can still find "crazy" without even trying. Danger lurks everywhere. 8 Nov 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-11-08.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 109AE538-DA43-46DC-A5CB-BD9467B4FE61 122 Hey, Girl, Hey Crazy has it's own special way of reaching out to let you know it's there. It's more than just a look or a feeling...it's something far deeper and more insidious that grips you and pulls you in. It's a good thing Virginia's in a relationship, because even on TV, she can still find "crazy" without even trying. Danger lurks everywhere. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, 2homos 11:46 yes If a big motorhome comes driving up to your house one day, don't get too excited. Run and close all the windows, draw all the curtains and lock the doors. It might not be that you're a winner in the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. You might just be the next contestant on the Suzanne Westenhoefer reality series, "How the Fcuk Don't You Know?!" 4 Nov 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-11-04.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 6A14D119-3AED-4085-BB87-D70F740420D8 121 How the Hell Don't You Know If a big motorhome comes driving up to your house one day, don't get too excited. Run and close all the windows, draw all the curtains and lock the doors. It might not be that you're a winner in the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. You might just be the next contestant on the Suzanne Westenhoefer reality series, "How the Fcuk Don't You Know?!" 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 13:29 yes Believe it or not, today's seniors may be having more sex than you. That's not a bad thing, either. For us it means we have another option for making money in our retirement. We can open up a sex toy shop right next to the senior community and make lots of money. When the nursing home is rockin'.....don't come a knockin'. 1 Nov 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-11-01.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 0EC56C3D-3B10-43E1-AC73-9E902F68A49B 120 Grandma Thinks She's Sexy Believe it or not, today's seniors may be having more sex than you. That's not a bad thing, either. For us it means we have another option for making money in our retirement. We can open up a sex toy shop right next to the senior community and make lots of money. When the nursing home is rockin'.....don't come a knockin'. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 09:31 yes We trek off to Vegas for the weekend to celebrate Beth's birthday and enjoy a weekend of offensive t-shirts, karaoke and pawn shops. As they say in Vegas, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". But, even with that...sometimes you still want the people to just leave and go home. 29 Oct 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-10-29.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 776AC0D3-8D88-4AB2-8AEE-2761C2286218 119 Vegas Baby We trek off to Vegas for the weekend to celebrate Beth's birthday and enjoy a weekend of offensive t-shirts, karaoke and pawn shops. As they say in Vegas, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". But, even with that...sometimes you still want the people to just leave and go home. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 18:28 yes Anyone who tells you that running is fun and that they get a "runner's high" when they run long distances, is just full of shit. You have permission to tell them so...from someone who knows. 22 Oct 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-10-22.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt C5036C49-13FC-4F65-A187-A57F4403EE55 118 Strike it off the List Anyone who tells you that running is fun and that they get a "runner's high" when they run long distances, is just full of shit. You have permission to tell them so...from someone who knows. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 11:36 yes It's not exactly penis envy...it's more like penis curiosity. If you could take a pill that gave you a penis of your very own for just one day, you need to make sure you get your money's worth out of it. Roxanne's niece, Ashley, joins us for this important topic. We definitely needed the straight girl perspective on this one. 19 Oct 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-10-19.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt A7236D41-2706-4909-8473-42B92009F579 117 Chick With a Dick It's not exactly penis envy...it's more like penis curiosity. If you could take a pill that gave you a penis of your very own for just one day, you need to make sure you get your money's worth out of it. Roxanne's niece, Ashley, joins us for this important topic. We definitely needed the straight girl perspective on this one. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 11:52 yes If men had to get the equivalent of a mammogram on their penis once a year, you can be sure that there would all of a sudden be incredible advances in technology. Instead of having your organ squished and squeezed, and flattened out across a set of cold plates the length of the room, men would invent a soft, mouth-shaped cup that would gently grip their penis and move rhythmically back and forth to scan for any abnormalities. Every machine would come equipped with a soft towel for "cleaning up" afterwards. Men would be lining up around the block for their exams. 16 Oct 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-10-16.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 62FFCA50-9D64-40F3-BE1C-14D7AD8B32ED 116 I'm Not a Gyno, but I'll Take a Look If men had to get the equivalent of a mammogram on their penis once a year, you can be sure that there would all of a sudden be incredible advances in technology. Instead of having your organ squished and squeezed, and flattened out across a set of cold plates the length of the room, men would invent a soft, mouth-shaped cup that would gently grip their penis and move rhythmically back and forth to scan for any abnormalities. Every machine would come equipped with a soft towel for "cleaning up" afterwards. Men would be lining up around the block for their exams. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 10:44 yes Lots of different cities and states have a unique claim to fame. In California, the San Fernando Valley is considered the Porn Capital of the World due to the number of studios and production houses cranking out skin flicks. Next time you visit this great state, you can head down to Disneyland to see Pocahontas and then travel to the Valley to see Poke-A-Hot-Ass....all in the same day. 13 Oct 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-10-13.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 87A35BA8-F62A-4E01-B3EB-A2C5C5E98857 115 Porn Capital of the World Lots of different cities and states have a unique claim to fame. In California, the San Fernando Valley is considered the Porn Capital of the World due to the number of studios and production houses cranking out skin flicks. Next time you visit this great state, you can head down to Disneyland to see Pocahontas and then travel to the Valley to see Poke-A-Hot-Ass....all in the same day. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 10:51 yes Mirror, mirror, on the wall...what the fuck is that thing coming out of my face?! After Lasik, Virginia could see the hair on a gnat's ass from 2 miles away. The only downside was that her close-up vision got so bad that she finally had to break down and get a 50x magnification mirror. Now we need therapy to work through the issues of strange hairs popping out on our faces, wrinkles we couldn't see before and dark pores we didn't even know we had. All this due to that evil mirror invented by some sick, cruel sociopath. 10 Oct 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-10-10.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 3ED3B04B-3BF2-4E57-A6F1-AEEFCF40C6CA 114 Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall Mirror, mirror, on the wall...what the fuck is that thing coming out of my face?! After Lasik, Virginia could see the hair on a gnat's ass from 2 miles away. The only downside was that her close-up vision got so bad that she finally had to break down and get a 50x magnification mirror. Now we need therapy to work through the issues of strange hairs popping out on our faces, wrinkles we couldn't see before and dark pores we didn't even know we had. All this due to that evil mirror invented by some sick, cruel sociopath. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 09:57 yes Most people think rats and roaches are disgusting creatures with no purpose in this world. Of course, once they get to know all of the the diseases and disguting things the nasty little vermin called ticks carry around with them, they would be more than happy to live together with the rats and roaches in the same house for the rest of their lives. 7 Oct 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-10-07.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 429A2D6F-0268-4E05-BE4A-1BE7ABB1EB6A 113 It's Not Green, It's Lyme Most people think rats and roaches are disgusting creatures with no purpose in this world. Of course, once they get to know all of the the diseases and disguting things the nasty little vermin called ticks carry around with them, they would be more than happy to live together with the rats and roaches in the same house for the rest of their lives. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 18:37 yes Some people think it's fun to be strapped onto a piece of metal that flies through the air, shakes you upside down, hurtles you backwards at the speed of sound and then whips you back around the other way. Bullshit. 4 Oct 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-10-04.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 7C3E27A5-76B7-449E-BFBA-AD83788A0AC0 112 Gay Day at Six Flags Some people think it's fun to be strapped onto a piece of metal that flies through the air, shakes you upside down, hurtles you backwards at the speed of sound and then whips you back around the other way. Bullshit. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 11:18 yes In every neighborhood there is the creepy house that you don't want to walk too close to when you go by. You cross the street and keep one eye out for anyone or anything coming out the door. All the while you're ready to run if something happens. I'm proud to say...it's that time of year, and now....that's our house! 1 Oct 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-10-01.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 0BFA98D7-33AE-4214-8F78-6A0FA72D6D4D 111 The Ghouls Next Door In every neighborhood there is the creepy house that you don't want to walk too close to when you go by. You cross the street and keep one eye out for anyone or anything coming out the door. All the while you're ready to run if something happens. I'm proud to say...it's that time of year, and now....that's our house! 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 09:28 yes When you don't have time for a long conversation with a hot, sexy girl in person...now you can get screwed by text messaging. You'll never know that you're really texting an old, fat dude in a dirty tank top sitting on his couch with his belly sticking out acting like a hot, horny girl. Now that's enticing. 26 Sep 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-09-26.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 69EF93E3-1201-49B4-9317-9E0FB61F50D2 110 Orgasm by Text Message When you don't have time for a long conversation with a hot, sexy girl in person...now you can get screwed by text messaging. You'll never know that you're really texting an old, fat dude in a dirty tank top sitting on his couch with his belly sticking out acting like a hot, horny girl. Now that's enticing. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 14:46 yes The L.A. County Fair comes to town and we head off for our annual visit. We're not interested in the animals, the horticulture , the carnival rides or the games. Instead, we want to know what this year's fried food specialty will be, and to shop for that rare "As Seen on TV" item that can't be found anywhere else. 23 Sep 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-09-23.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 8E0540C1-4974-4E51-A35B-7F365213271B 109 LA County Fair-y Tale The L.A. County Fair comes to town and we head off for our annual visit. We're not interested in the animals, the horticulture , the carnival rides or the games. Instead, we want to know what this year's fried food specialty will be, and to shop for that rare "As Seen on TV" item that can't be found anywhere else. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 10:44 yes Virginia is about to become a millionaire. Of course, first she has to take out an insurance policy on Roxanne. After eight years in a relationship, it's time to trade her in for a younger model, and that's going to take a whole lotta cash. 19 Sep 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-09-19.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 355B761F-58D0-4AEB-8CF0-D815BF8C69C3 108 She's Dizzy, Not Ditzy Virginia is about to become a millionaire. Of course, first she has to take out an insurance policy on Roxanne. After eight years in a relationship, it's time to trade her in for a younger model, and that's going to take a whole lotta cash. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 09:08 yes We do our duty as faithful Lesbians and got to see Jodie Foster's new movie, "The Brave One", on opening day. Jodie wasn't the only brave one on that day. We even forego the popcorn so that we can concentrate on bringing you a complete, detailed movie review. 16 Sep 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-09-16.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 7ABC56B1-4882-4F46-AD7E-3F5B9CBDC025 107 Jodie Has A-Cups We do our duty as faithful Lesbians and got to see Jodie Foster's new movie, "The Brave One", on opening day. Jodie wasn't the only brave one on that day. We even forego the popcorn so that we can concentrate on bringing you a complete, detailed movie review. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 10:50 yes There aren't too many sports where you can drink beer and still play the game. Softball is one...and bowling is another. That makes both of those the perfect sports for Lesbians. 14 Sep 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-09-14.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 179C5334-01A4-4A10-AE80-91641A030E45 106 Do Your Lips Hang Low? There aren't too many sports where you can drink beer and still play the game. Softball is one...and bowling is another. That makes both of those the perfect sports for Lesbians. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 10:43 yes To help get you through those long, cold months in between seasons of the L Word, Roxanne has come up with a new dramatic series, using real-life characters that everyone can relate to. This Fall...on Skinemax...look for...."Lipstick". Lesbian drama like it was meant to be. 11 Sep 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-09-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt A647491A-45D2-4D16-B94F-174C4D26F026 105 Lights, Camera, Action To help get you through those long, cold months in between seasons of the L Word, Roxanne has come up with a new dramatic series, using real-life characters that everyone can relate to. This Fall...on Skinemax...look for...."Lipstick". Lesbian drama like it was meant to be. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 13:38 yes When you come home from a long, hard day at work, it's nice to sit back and relax to ease away the stress of the day. Some people pop open a cold brew, other people entertain themsleves with an evening of TV, and still others might just go to bed early. Then there's the people who relax by picking up whores in video games, having fake sex with them in the game and then paying them with fake money. 8 Sep 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-09-08.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt D64A18FC-C576-44CF-9C34-05DC59EA7FCD 104 Video Game Whore When you come home from a long, hard day at work, it's nice to sit back and relax to ease away the stress of the day. Some people pop open a cold brew, other people entertain themsleves with an evening of TV, and still others might just go to bed early. Then there's the people who relax by picking up whores in video games, having fake sex with them in the game and then paying them with fake money. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 11:11 yes The high price of gas gives us gas. It also makes it hard to be a proper Lesbian, with a big pick-up truck, oversized tires and a hemi...whatever that is. 5 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-09-05.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 7E00CCAB-EE6E-448A-B182-379BBAAAC48C 103 Feeling Gassy The high price of gas gives us gas. It also makes it hard to be a proper Lesbian, with a big pick-up truck, oversized tires and a hemi...whatever that is. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 09:07 yes With all the controversey around Senators, famous singers and your everyday joe, Lesbians are questioning how a bathroom can be a sexy locale for a risque interlude with a stranger. 31 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-08-31.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 431A7423-EA72-44E7-912D-CEECE1E0D615 102 The Turd Cast With all the controversey around Senators, famous singers and your everyday joe, Lesbians are questioning how a bathroom can be a sexy locale for a risque interlude with a stranger. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 12:57 yes These days there's a pill for everything. The only problem is...the cure may be worse than the problem it's meant to get rid of. At least you can choose between slippery stools, gastrointenstinal distress or just nausea and vomiting. 28 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-08-28.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt A27A1CC2-2370-44C8-9C62-00AE188DD199 101 Side Effects These days there's a pill for everything. The only problem is...the cure may be worse than the problem it's meant to get rid of. At least you can choose between slippery stools, gastrointenstinal distress or just nausea and vomiting. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 12:23 yes When it comes time to buy a gift for special someone in your life, you want to make sure you pick out something will love and cherish forever. You want them to remember you each time they look at it, use it or pick it up. This year, for that special girl in your life, why not give her the gift that will remind her of you every time she starts her period? 25 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-08-25.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt CF36E067-2E7C-4CD6-B646-081F160F48C0 100 More Reasons to Celebrate When it comes time to buy a gift for special someone in your life, you want to make sure you pick out something will love and cherish forever. You want them to remember you each time they look at it, use it or pick it up. This year, for that special girl in your life, why not give her the gift that will remind her of you every time she starts her period? 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 12:29 yes It took a crazy (ex-) friend to help us understand that the Internet is really the root of all evil. It will cause you to do bad things such as going into chat rooms to have cyber sex with people you can't see, you'll take on a secret screen name to hide your true identity, and you'll pick up rimming as your new favorite pasttime. 23 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-08-23.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt C2BE2807-CBBD-4C40-902B-DF36360D249F 099 The Root of all Evil It took a crazy (ex-) friend to help us understand that the Internet is really the root of all evil. It will cause you to do bad things such as going into chat rooms to have cyber sex with people you can't see, you'll take on a secret screen name to hide your true identity, and you'll pick up rimming as your new favorite pasttime. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 11:37 yes Back in the day...life was hard. You had to walk 10 miles inthe snow to get to school, and it was uphill both ways. You had to shovel coal until it was dark just to stay warm in the winter. And, you had to go out hunting for food just so that you could eat. Now you can just go to Costco and stock up on enough bagels to get you through the entire winter without ever having to leave the house again. 20 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-08-20.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 4DBD143D-B5D2-4749-BFE0-74A2B10C7F6B 098 The Simple Life Back in the day...life was hard. You had to walk 10 miles inthe snow to get to school, and it was uphill both ways. You had to shovel coal until it was dark just to stay warm in the winter. And, you had to go out hunting for food just so that you could eat. Now you can just go to Costco and stock up on enough bagels to get you through the entire winter without ever having to leave the house again. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 09:33 yes Some movie reviews are weak. The reviewer doesn't give you a lot of depth about the characters, the plot line or what's good and bad about the show. Not so with us. We may not be professional movie reviewers, but we certainly have an opinion about everything...and everybody. 17 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-08-17.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 7427436D-14E6-4447-8139-C703C4B915D7 097 Surf's Up Some movie reviews are weak. The reviewer doesn't give you a lot of depth about the characters, the plot line or what's good and bad about the show. Not so with us. We may not be professional movie reviewers, but we certainly have an opinion about everything...and everybody. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 13:45 yes "X" marks the spot....the spot where the nuts used to be. For goodness sake, at least have the human decency to pick them up and put them in a jar so that they can be re-attached later on. 15 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-08-15.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt F03A6940-76C7-4D00-B6CC-E172043777A6 096 Case of the Missing Nuts "X" marks the spot....the spot where the nuts used to be. For goodness sake, at least have the human decency to pick them up and put them in a jar so that they can be re-attached later on. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 13:46 yes It's a subject of endless fascination for us. Somehow it just never gets old. A round of armpit waxing gets us going again on our discussion about unwanted body hair. 12 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-08-12.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 65C53E23-7B7C-4012-9917-16C8BA6FCA7F 095 Pluck It, Wax It, Burn It It's a subject of endless fascination for us. Somehow it just never gets old. A round of armpit waxing gets us going again on our discussion about unwanted body hair. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 10:53 yes It's time for a serious interlude where we discuss the ones that got away from us, and how we feel about them now. Take a little journey with us and explore your feelings about the past. 9 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-08-09.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 644F57F7-96E1-4880-A81D-274A6A71F720 094 The One That Got Away It's time for a serious interlude where we discuss the ones that got away from us, and how we feel about them now. Take a little journey with us and explore your feelings about the past. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 13:14 yes When you go out to your favorite club to go dancing and you see a couple of older Lesbians out on the dance floor looking like they're having seizures...there's no need to panic. Don't try to stuff a wallet in their mouths to keep them from swallowing their tongues. We're just dusting off their dance moves from a few decades ago. 6 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-08-06.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt BB9DA521-BDAC-44E4-9BAA-0040527486EE 093 Planning For Our Future When you go out to your favorite club to go dancing and you see a couple of older Lesbians out on the dance floor looking like they're having seizures...there's no need to panic. Don't try to stuff a wallet in their mouths to keep them from swallowing their tongues. We're just dusting off their dance moves from a few decades ago. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 10:35 yes It's important to know when to say when. You have to know when to stop bringing home rescued pets and homeless pets, so that you don't risk having to find a new home for for both of you. That's when people such as Karma Rescue step in and help out to bring those pets back to good health and to find them a new home. 2 Aug 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-08-02.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 1126867D-B474-4B74-9EBA-F0D475BD5A19 092 Sucker It's important to know when to say when. You have to know when to stop bringing home rescued pets and homeless pets, so that you don't risk having to find a new home for for both of you. That's when people such as Karma Rescue step in and help out to bring those pets back to good health and to find them a new home. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 11:32 yes Just because you scream out the name of the Lord while having sex doesn't necesarily mean that you've got religion. It could actually mean that you're losing your religion right at that very moment. It's an added bonus when your mother hears it and finds out at the very same time. That way you don't have to go through the agony of breaking her heart later. 30 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-30.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt A1862A5B-6439-4AC8-A98C-4C40258FFA5D 091 Losing My Religion Just because you scream out the name of the Lord while having sex doesn't necesarily mean that you've got religion. It could actually mean that you're losing your religion right at that very moment. It's an added bonus when your mother hears it and finds out at the very same time. That way you don't have to go through the agony of breaking her heart later. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 15:22 yes Driving while you're drowsy can be very dangerous, indeed. Once again, we're here to help, with techniques designed to keep you wide awake on your next long drive. Roxanne's nephew, Ben, joins us for a visit and some helpful hints. 28 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-28.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 127C4341-D39A-42D5-8FBF-74B93F02D1C4 090 Asleep at the Wheel Driving while you're drowsy can be very dangerous, indeed. Once again, we're here to help, with techniques designed to keep you wide awake on your next long drive. Roxanne's nephew, Ben, joins us for a visit and some helpful hints. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke 08:31 yes The times in your life that you look back on and remember forever are those good times you spent together with close family and loved ones. It's the vacations you took together, the time you spent hanging out, and all the new experiences you shared for the very first time together. What you didn't expect is that one of those moments would also include you seeing a real live penis for the very first time. 25 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-25.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt F602CE4E-B1F2-495A-A7A3-1D249C2CA4C5 089 Baby's First Penis The times in your life that you look back on and remember forever are those good times you spent together with close family and loved ones. It's the vacations you took together, the time you spent hanging out, and all the new experiences you shared for the very first time together. What you didn't expect is that one of those moments would also include you seeing a real live penis for the very first time. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 14:04 yes If you can't work for the "man" any longer, a good career alternative is to become the "man". It's time to explore your entrepreneurial side as Roxanne considers career options for the future. 23 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-23.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt DA84CED6-633B-4E21-9B00-FD1818899CA8 088 Entrepreneurial Lesbians If you can't work for the "man" any longer, a good career alternative is to become the "man". It's time to explore your entrepreneurial side as Roxanne considers career options for the future. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 12:06 no No parent ever believes that their angelic child would learn to do naughty things or to pick up bad habits on their own. If their child picked up smoking, started cussing or even became a Lesbian, it must be some other kid's fault. We finally find out the answer to this enduring mystery about whose fault it really is. We 've found the person to blame for everything. 20 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-20.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt EEBBB595-1C73-4FFF-B527-E108E22A8CB3 087 It's All My Fault No parent ever believes that their angelic child would learn to do naughty things or to pick up bad habits on their own. If their child picked up smoking, started cussing or even became a Lesbian, it must be some other kid's fault. We finally find out the answer to this enduring mystery about whose fault it really is. We 've found the person to blame for everything. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 10:04 no Going to church just isn't what it used to be. Now they have full-length concerts with a full band and Gay back up singers, videos with the words roll across the the TV so that you can sing along with the bouncing ball, and they have Ad Libs you can work on throughout the sermon to keep it interesting. With all that going on, how is it possible that anyone could get irate in the middle of all that love, kindness and happiness? 18 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-18.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 0ADD855B-8333-4ED8-8DBE-A94E2E7C3DE1 086 Gay on Sunday Going to church just isn't what it used to be. Now they have full-length concerts with a full band and Gay back up singers, videos with the words roll across the the TV so that you can sing along with the bouncing ball, and they have Ad Libs you can work on throughout the sermon to keep it interesting. With all that going on, how is it possible that anyone could get irate in the middle of all that love, kindness and happiness? 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 13:46 no Roxanne's niece comes bursting out of the closet, and now we have lots more room in there to put away all those winter coats and jackets. On a somewhat related note, if someone named "Gangsta Gramma" tries to be your friend on MySpace, make sure you just say "no". 14 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-14.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 77450CA9-D5EE-49F7-B76E-3428F33E6C1A 085 Two and a Half Homos Roxanne's niece comes bursting out of the closet, and now we have lots more room in there to put away all those winter coats and jackets. On a somewhat related note, if someone named "Gangsta Gramma" tries to be your friend on MySpace, make sure you just say "no". 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 17:42 no It's not that adults don't understand MySpace...it's just that we don't know have a clue what we're doing and how to set it up. One thing I do understand, however, is that if I ever find myself out of Roxanne's "top eight", I'll know that we've broken up and it's time for me to move out of the house. Check out our MySpace page and become our friend! 11 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt B317C51C-5C9D-4F04-AEA5-FB98DEED2790 084 MySpace Virgins It's not that adults don't understand MySpace...it's just that we don't know have a clue what we're doing and how to set it up. One thing I do understand, however, is that if I ever find myself out of Roxanne's "top eight", I'll know that we've broken up and it's time for me to move out of the house. Check out our MySpace page and become our friend! 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 09:25 no When you're new to a town and you're just getting started on the road to coming out, it's good to have a caring supportive guide to help you out. It's better to ease into a new lifestyle, rather than having someone drag you to a fetish club with people giving lap dances and stripping for free drinks. Of course...some people may actually appreciate that. 8 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-08.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 81603E48-1751-4147-B13F-9536635AEC40 083 Fetishes 'R Us When you're new to a town and you're just getting started on the road to coming out, it's good to have a caring supportive guide to help you out. It's better to ease into a new lifestyle, rather than having someone drag you to a fetish club with people giving lap dances and stripping for free drinks. Of course...some people may actually appreciate that. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 17:37 no Nothing could be more enjoyable or relaxing than driving around in beautiful, sunny LA weather with the top down in a brand new convertible. It's all fun and games until the gang-banger jumps in the car with you at a red light with a carload of people chasing him following right behind. 6 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-06.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 75B84A08-036B-40A6-813E-C4042F948BD5 082 Drive My Car Nothing could be more enjoyable or relaxing than driving around in beautiful, sunny LA weather with the top down in a brand new convertible. It's all fun and games until the gang-banger jumps in the car with you at a red light with a carload of people chasing him following right behind. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 11:48 no Sleeping should be relaxing and restful...a time for peaceful and pleasant dreams. You don't want to find yourself at the beach, in Las Vegas, standing in a hotel lobby with your girlfriend's new sex partner...while her mother looks on and smiles. 3 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-03.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 89C90016-1409-4911-ACB0-46D7361797C7 081 Sweet Dreams Sleeping should be relaxing and restful...a time for peaceful and pleasant dreams. You don't want to find yourself at the beach, in Las Vegas, standing in a hotel lobby with your girlfriend's new sex partner...while her mother looks on and smiles. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 07:19 no You can take the girl out of the disco, but you can't take the disco out of the girl. It's Disco Saturday Night and everyone has taken their Geritol and arthritis pills so that they can blow out a hip on the way to disco nirvana. 1 Jul 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-07-01.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 039EDB7B-42A1-4429-98F7-73149B9A13FA 080 Disco Lesbians You can take the girl out of the disco, but you can't take the disco out of the girl. It's Disco Saturday Night and everyone has taken their Geritol and arthritis pills so that they can blow out a hip on the way to disco nirvana. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 17:36 no What's an older Lesbian doing with an under-age, teenage girl at Los Angeles Gay Pride -- holding hands and buying her temporary tattoos, jewelry, Diet Coke's and anything else she wants? If it's Roxanne, then she's out with her niece showing her how the Gay community celebrates Pride. 28 Jun 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-06-28.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 1C02EA5C-8C34-469D-9064-326423EC7634 079 Sugar Mama What's an older Lesbian doing with an under-age, teenage girl at Los Angeles Gay Pride -- holding hands and buying her temporary tattoos, jewelry, Diet Coke's and anything else she wants? If it's Roxanne, then she's out with her niece showing her how the Gay community celebrates Pride. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 11:43 no Those Gays are up to something, and it takes an undercover reporter to get to the truth about what really goes on at Gay Pride in San Diego. To do the job right takes plenty of hands on research, including hours spent at the S&M tent to make sure you understand how it's done, and careful monitoring of the Pride Parade, including trying to get a picture of the man on roller blades in a body thong. It's also important to inspect the free packets of lube and 19 different types of condoms so that you don't miss a single clue. 25 Jun 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-06-25.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 4815FB08-8D87-4B03-B569-088469E3C541 078 Top Secret: The Gay Agenda Those Gays are up to something, and it takes an undercover reporter to get to the truth about what really goes on at Gay Pride in San Diego. To do the job right takes plenty of hands on research, including hours spent at the S&M tent to make sure you understand how it's done, and careful monitoring of the Pride Parade, including trying to get a picture of the man on roller blades in a body thong. It's also important to inspect the free packets of lube and 19 different types of condoms so that you don't miss a single clue. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 14:47 no We cover the world of roommates who are leeches and girlfriends who are ATM machines. Slide the credit card between her breasts and watch the money come out the other end. 22 Jun 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-06-22.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt DF7B8E21-99B2-4E92-A350-0B46E8D76BA6 077 Female Leeches and Other Parasites We cover the world of roommates who are leeches and girlfriends who are ATM machines. Slide the credit card between her breasts and watch the money come out the other end. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 11:40 no Roxanne comes down with a summer cold. Instead of getting sympathy, orange juice, throat lozenges or a soft box of tissues....Roxanne is exiled to the guest bedroom. Even the dogs don't want to be in the same room with her. 20 Jun 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-06-20.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 777EFFB6-AEE6-4137-A28D-E7328C5CA2E4 076 Sick, Sick, Sick Roxanne comes down with a summer cold. Instead of getting sympathy, orange juice, throat lozenges or a soft box of tissues....Roxanne is exiled to the guest bedroom. Even the dogs don't want to be in the same room with her. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 10:55 no Summer means it's time to be fashionable, ladies, and Tyra says that handkerchiefs are "in" for this season. Before you just shove your favorite bandana into your back pocket there are some things you need to know, however. Picking the wrong color and putting it in the wrong pocket with the knot going the wrong way can have someone tying you up, shrimping your toes and trying to shave you if you're not careful. We're here to help. 17 Jun 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-06-17.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 7E64B0FA-B0C3-44D6-A920-2F2F3EF184A6 075 Hanky Panky Summer means it's time to be fashionable, ladies, and Tyra says that handkerchiefs are "in" for this season. Before you just shove your favorite bandana into your back pocket there are some things you need to know, however. Picking the wrong color and putting it in the wrong pocket with the knot going the wrong way can have someone tying you up, shrimping your toes and trying to shave you if you're not careful. We're here to help. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 13:25 yes Roxanne had the "experience of a lifetime" on ALC6, but the memories of her best friend, Sybil will be what she remembers the most. We also learn that professional people can sometimes date crazies, too. Join us on this last installment from our series on ALC6. 15 Jun 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-06-15.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 8BF36F8D-580C-4C32-B552-562BCDA0B2DD 074 Riding Shotgun With Sybil Roxanne had the "experience of a lifetime" on ALC6, but the memories of her best friend, Sybil will be what she remembers the most. We also learn that professional people can sometimes date crazies, too. Join us on this last installment from our series on ALC6. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 11:17 yes You might be a Lesbian if...When you go through airport security and set off the alarm, the security guard asks you to step through the screening area a second time while asking you if perhaps you are wearing something metal...such as a big ol' belt buckle. 12 Jun 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-06-12.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 2C88E4CE-65A3-447E-A20A-873E3CDBDD98 073 Dyke Spotting You might be a Lesbian if...When you go through airport security and set off the alarm, the security guard asks you to step through the screening area a second time while asking you if perhaps you are wearing something metal...such as a big ol' belt buckle. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 15:23 yes When going to work means strapping on a toolbelt, putting on a uniform or slipping into the latest style of color coordinated, polyester track suit, you can be sure that you're in one of today's hottest careers for Lesbians. We review all the options for young Lesbians just starting out, and pay homage to UPS Lesbians everywhere. 10 Jun 2007 19:12:27 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-06-10.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 4FC554F1-632F-45C6-AA28-E2A2D471C0DB 072 Careers For Lesbians When going to work means strapping on a toolbelt, putting on a uniform or slipping into the latest style of color coordinated, polyester track suit, you can be sure that you're in one of today's hottest careers for Lesbians. We review all the options for young Lesbians just starting out, and pay homage to UPS Lesbians everywhere. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 13:16 yes Today's the day. We're off to San Francisco to start our jouney on ALC 6. The 2 Homos will be gone for the week, but we'll be back with more shows and a whole lot more stories after that. If you've missed some of our earlier shows, now is a good time to dip into the archives and get caught up. See ya in about a week! 22 May 2008 04:36:08 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-05-31.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 2607F092-47A9-4E44-AEB0-150F88BA10B6 071 Two Homos Hit the Road Today's the day. We're off to San Francisco to start our jouney on ALC 6. The 2 Homos will be gone for the week, but we'll be back with more shows and a whole lot more stories after that. If you've missed some of our earlier shows, now is a good time to dip into the archives and get caught up. See ya in about a week! 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 04:10 yes It never occurred to me that I would live in a house where I'd have to worry about the toilet seat being up when I go to the bathroom. Now that the P-Mate's have arrived...the toilet seat being up is a hazard I may just have to live with. Roxanne has discovered that it's not only convenient to pee standing up, but it's a lot of fun, too. 30 May 2007 05:20:48 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-05-29.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 8C9E4125-1FE0-4183-98F7-EE54DAE829C2 070 The P-Mate's Have Arrived! It never occurred to me that I would live in a house where I'd have to worry about the toilet seat being up when I go to the bathroom. Now that the P-Mate's have arrived...the toilet seat being up is a hazard I may just have to live with. Roxanne has discovered that it's not only convenient to pee standing up, but it's a lot of fun, too. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 08:05 yes It's time to go back to school to earn your honorary Lesbian degree. Before you get ready to take that test, however, let us walk you through some important vocabulary lessons with words and expressions you'll need to know. Thanks to Kathy Belge for her list at Lesbian Life to help make us the smartest Lesbians on the planet. 28 May 2007 05:20:48 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-05-27.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt F97E7BF4-8A45-4836-BB9C-BA6F1757F79A 069 Lesbian Vocabulary Lessons It's time to go back to school to earn your honorary Lesbian degree. Before you get ready to take that test, however, let us walk you through some important vocabulary lessons with words and expressions you'll need to know. Thanks to Kathy Belge for her list at Lesbian Life to help make us the smartest Lesbians on the planet. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 15:11 yes Poultry flavored toothbrush, $29.50...canine catheterization, $25.77...big steel clanging neuticles to make your toy poodle look as tough as a pit bull as he walks down the street...priceless. 25 May 2007 05:20:48 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-05-24.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 626E9836-7480-4E20-B42D-9F7B8673C67E 068 Day at the Vet's Poultry flavored toothbrush, $29.50...canine catheterization, $25.77...big steel clanging neuticles to make your toy poodle look as tough as a pit bull as he walks down the street...priceless. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 10:08 yes It happens only once a year. Paris meets California at the Orange County Swap Meet for Fashion Week. Roxanne is there with all the color commentary and sightings of this year's most stylish couture. 23 May 2007 05:20:48 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-05-22.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt C5E86785-7D96-49DD-9932-A5DA01D8EF65 067 Fashion Week at the Swap Meet It happens only once a year. Paris meets California at the Orange County Swap Meet for Fashion Week. Roxanne is there with all the color commentary and sightings of this year's most stylish couture. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 09:26 yes Costco doesn't sponsor us...but maybe they should. They can always count on us for helping to drive the stock price higher with our toilet paper purchases and our constant need to purchase more dog beds. If we ever move out of the area, Costco will almost certainly need to close down the Burbank location due to a unforseen drop in sales volume. 21 May 2007 05:20:48 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-05-20.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 3F65A5CA-6F1D-4583-B6D3-CFFACFA4EE23 066 Costco Doesn't Sponsor Us Costco doesn't sponsor us...but maybe they should. They can always count on us for helping to drive the stock price higher with our toilet paper purchases and our constant need to purchase more dog beds. If we ever move out of the area, Costco will almost certainly need to close down the Burbank location due to a unforseen drop in sales volume. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 10:02 yes It's not easy to face your fears. It takes courage, determination and a willingness to let go of the old habits that hold you back. Roxanne takes a bold step forward to overcome her fear of vegetables this weekend as she musters up all her strength to attend the Strawberry Festival...even if strawberries are not a vegetable. 19 May 2007 05:20:48 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-05-18.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt FCE8CEA3-5163-4C2E-AC78-235654268FD4 065 Vagitarians It's not easy to face your fears. It takes courage, determination and a willingness to let go of the old habits that hold you back. Roxanne takes a bold step forward to overcome her fear of vegetables this weekend as she musters up all her strength to attend the Strawberry Festival...even if strawberries are not a vegetable. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 13:06 yes Bad customer service has become a way of life in America. In fact, we've become so good at it that we've decided that the global economy is a good way for us to teach other countries how to give shitty customer service, too. After all, why should we be selfish and keep it all to ourselves? 17 May 2007 05:20:48 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-05-16.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt D19B666E-F520-4651-BF90-07416673D0BB 064 Customer Service Sucks Bad customer service has become a way of life in America. In fact, we've become so good at it that we've decided that the global economy is a good way for us to teach other countries how to give shitty customer service, too. After all, why should we be selfish and keep it all to ourselves? 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 15:27 yes Fires raced across two areas of Los Angeles last week. Roxanne thinks it's the work of twisted pyromaniacs, but Virginia is convinced that the Griffith Park fire was started by a meth-head cruising for a blow job in the park. As for the Catalina fire, we're both convinced that the fire is a sure sign for the woman about to get married in Catalina that she really shouldn't get married at all. It's a sign that she should come out as a Lesbian instead. 14 May 2007 05:20:48 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-05-13.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt D695A94F-F5F3-4D89-A847-CC95A572B285 063 The Burning Bush Fires raced across two areas of Los Angeles last week. Roxanne thinks it's the work of twisted pyromaniacs, but Virginia is convinced that the Griffith Park fire was started by a meth-head cruising for a blow job in the park. As for the Catalina fire, we're both convinced that the fire is a sure sign for the woman about to get married in Catalina that she really shouldn't get married at all. It's a sign that she should come out as a Lesbian instead. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 11:05 yes The fascists of political correctness set their sites on a stereotypical, older, white male and prepare to fire. As champions of the cause, they come out with both guns blaring and project all their baggage about how he doesn't respect or acknowledge gay relationships. What they didn't know...is that this particular older white man is Roxanne's Dad. 12 May 2007 05:20:48 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-05-11.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 84C85450-9C09-4305-8DBE-54710D55E247 062 One Gay Son and a Pair of Dykes The fascists of political correctness set their sites on a stereotypical, older, white male and prepare to fire. As champions of the cause, they come out with both guns blaring and project all their baggage about how he doesn't respect or acknowledge gay relationships. What they didn't know...is that this particular older white man is Roxanne's Dad. 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) lesbian, gay, comedy, lgbt, queer, dyke, homos, homo, 2homos 07:11 yes Good relationships take balance, cooperation and joint responsiblity for household chores. Everyone has their job to do, whether it means obsessively vacuuming up dog hair, taking out trash barrels filled with dog shit, or simply emptying out trash cans on the neighbor's lawn. 10 May 2007 05:20:48 GMT http://www.2homos.com/2HOMOS-2007-05-09.mp3 2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia) Comedy, lesbian, gay, glbt 30792C21-0C6B-4E25-BD71-C7453C94982A 061 Secrets to a Happy Relationship Good relationships take balan