December 17, 2014

lesbian podcast 611 Overbooked

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Buying a tray of store bought cookies to bring to the holiday party for $30 seemed like an act of extortion that should have brought the grocery store ten years in prison. That was until the Gay men showed up with their $800 baby stroller. At that point bringing the tiny little tray of stale cookies wrapped in cellophane and a chintzy bow made you seem like nothing but a cheap and classless Lesbian.


lesbian podcast

December 14, 2014

lesbian podcast 610 Nervous Laughter

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When you are rude to your barista they simply get you back by giving you decaf instead of full test in your latte. Your favorite dry cleaner also has a trick when you bring in a bag of laundry that you've just informed them your dog has pissed on. Theyre happy to take that dripping, wet bag from you, but when you get it back and you put those clothes on, you'll realize the dry cleaner pissed on your clothes before they gave them back.


lesbian podcast

December 10, 2014

lesbian podcast 609 Free Delivery

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If a $3.50 delivery charge is too much for you to spend to have pizza delivered, then you need to get your fat, lazy behind off the couch and go pick it up yourself. Of course, if the delivery person is a hot Lesbian rolling up to your door with a smokin' hot package just for you...then maybe $20 doesn't sound like too much. Sounds like it will be take-out for dinner every night.


lesbian podcast

December 7, 2014

lesbian podcast 608 Besties

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If your dog's face swells up to the point where it looks like Mike Tyson beat him up, it's time to go to the vet right away. If you're just out walking your dog and you pass that vet's office, move over to the other side of the street immediately. Otherwise, money will start getting sucked out of your ATM card and credit cards automatically.


lesbian podcast

November 30, 2014

lesbian podcast 607 Thankful

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Thanksgiving...the time of year to be thankful for family, good friends, all the wonderful things in our lives and for sharing with others. Next time you share that secret family recipe that's been handed down from generation to generation make sure that you leave out one ingredient so that you drive the next three generations insane trying to figure out how you make that special pie taste so good.


lesbian podcast

November 26, 2014

lesbian podcast 606 Delusional

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It's happened to all of us at one time or another. We dream about something that we're convinced is absolutely real. Like the time Angelina Jolie, Mila Kunis and Shakira all showed up at your front door ready to rock your world. According to the dictionary, someone that is delusional is someone that believes things that couldn't possibly be true. Also defined as a psychological disorder.


lesbian podcast

November 23, 2014

lesbian podcast 605 Secret Weapon

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There's one way to guarantee that you, your partner and your baby can all sit in the same row of the airplane. Fill a ziploc bag full of baby crap and hide it discreetly in the diaper bag. If the airline tries to move you, simply pull out the bag of crap, insert it into your baby's diapers and then proceed to change the baby right there in your seat. Call your partner over to help so that everyone knows you're together. Guaranteed to work every time...straight or Gay.


lesbian podcast

November 19, 2014

lesbian podcast 604 Under Attack

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The meaning of a true partnership is when a your spouse is willing to get up in the middle of the night, walk down the street in her pajamas and look like some freak on her cell phone in the middle of the street to hack a portal for a video game you're playing. The even truer meaning of the word partnership is that she puts up with you playing that nerdy game with teenage boys across the city that are up late at night jizzing on their cellphones.


lesbian podcast

November 16, 2014

lesbian podcast 603 Photo Bomb

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There's no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed if your children photo bomb other families on vacation taking their own family photos. They're just trying to do a public service by trying to make the other family look better. It's a public service that's free of charge.


lesbian podcast

November 12, 2014

lesbian podcast 602 Last Saturday Night

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Pets are good for a lot of reasons. They can help lower your stress level, they can make you forget about your horrible day and they generally make you feel happier. They're also good to blame the smell on when you lay a big stinky fart in front of your friends. You can blame it on the dog...but your friends know it was you anyway. Even when it really is the dog...your friends still think it's you.


lesbian podcast

 

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